


Old Times, Anew

by Cheeyathebard



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F, Future Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-20
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2017-12-15 14:06:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/850424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheeyathebard/pseuds/Cheeyathebard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Twenty years after it all went wrong, Doctor Maura Isles is back in Boston with her 16 year old daughter. Memories make the trip special... but so does someone else. Alternative Fan Fiction</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

### 1

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” A loud sigh echoed around the room. “I hate it already! Why are you making me read this? A woman doesn’t need a man for anything!” The tablet computer clacked as it hit the tabletop and waited, it’s screen pulsing slowly.

“Well, we need a man for ONE thing… Look, read it to better yourself,” came the calm reply. “Don’t you want to better yourself?”

“I don’t need to read stuff like _Pride and Prejudice_ to better myself, Mom, I’m fine just as I am.”

“Of course you are. But I’d really like for you to read this. I think you’ll get a lot out of it.” Mother and daughter, mirror images of each other down to blonde hair and stubbornness, faced off. The older woman crossed her arms and waited as hazel eyes stared defiantly back. Then she brought out the big guns. “Please, Cam? For me? It’s one of my favorites from when I was your age and I really think you’ll like it.”

Camille Isles, daughter of the world renowned Doctor Maura Isles sighed again. “Ugh… I hate when you do that,” she chuckled as she stepped forward and hugged her mother. “But you don’t ask for much, Mom, so I can do it for you.”

“Thank you, Sweetie,” Maura replied with a big smile. “So,” she turned and opened the refrigerator. “What do you want for dinner? We have a lot of stuff in here.”

Cam mulled the question over as she sat back down at the table and shoved her thick, blonde hair into a ponytail. She considered herself lucky, if she was honest. Not many of her friends had mothers who actually cooked for them and, even at the busiest of times, the doctor made the time to spend her evening meal with her daughter. Cam couldn’t say the same for her Dad, whom she hadn’t seen in over six months.

“I don’t mind. Whatever leftovers are there will work.” The teenager sucked in a breath and straightened up. “Mom, can I call Dad tonight?”

Only the slight stiffening of her mother’s back indicated her feelings. “Of course, Cam. You don’t have to ask me if you want to call your Dad. You know that.”

“Yeah,” Cam nodded, crossing her arms and ankles. “I just feel like you should know.”

Maura closed the refrigerator and carried a container of spaghetti bolognaise to the microwave, allowing herself some time to gather her thoughts. Cam just watched, admiring her mother’s beauty and the silk blouse and slacks she wore with elegant style. At fifty-three years old, she still turned heads. “Honey,” she began. “Just because things didn’t work out between your Dad and I doesn’t mean that he’s not a good man. If you want to see him, see him. In fact, if you want to fly out to see him this weekend that’s completely fine. I’ll book you a flight.”

Cam grinned, a sparkle in her hazel eyes. “I’d really like that, Mom, but why don’t you come with me? Not to see him, but to hang out with me. Like a girls weekend? You haven’t been back in a long time. Surely you miss it?”

Maura sighed, as she fished the now piping-hot container out of the microwave and portioned its contents onto two plates. “I do sometimes,” she admitted. “Ok, you’re on. Let’s go for a long weekend.”

Over dinner, they used Cam’s tablet computer to find flights from Los Angeles and a nice hotel and a quick credit card transaction later, they were talking about what to do when they got there. “Why don’t you do some research?” Maura suggested “And decide what you want to see.”

“Cool,” Cam replied as she swallowed her last mouthful of spaghetti. She opened a new browser window and brought up Trip Advisor. “Hmmm… things to do in summer… in Boston.”

**

Getting out of bed every day was a damn struggle - mentally as well as physically. Lieutenant Detective Jane Rizzoli stepped gingerly out of the shower, reaching for her cane and steadying herself, before grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her tall frame. Slowly moving into the kitchen, she headed for the freshly brewed coffee sitting on the machine, savoring the wisps of aroma floating through the small space.

Sun streamed in the window, bathing her in its warm glow and bringing out the mahogany highlights in her dark hair. She chuckled to herself as she glanced back towards the bathroom and the hair color bottle she’d left sitting on the sink.

“Well, Jo3,” she addressed her dog, who was sitting attentively on the sofa. “Even old gals like me can make an effort.”

Bringing her coffee to the bedroom, Jane dried her hair and dressed in her usual outfit of a dark pantsuit and V-necked shirt. Her hair was shorter than it used to be but it was still thick and full and, while she bent over paperwork especially, stayed mostly back in a ponytail.

The detective added her gun and badge to her outfit and picked up her wallet and keys off the kitchen counter. “Later, Jo.”

After what had happened, Jane had moved to an apartment block with an elevator, since stairs didn’t really agree with her disability. In fact, getting up the stairs to the station house was even a challenge and, twenty minutes later, she was faced with just that.

Today, though, the task seemed almost insurmountable. Today, she really wished she wasn’t there. “You’re going to have to help me today, Frankie,” she murmured as she started up the steps, one by one. The clack of her cane on the stone set her teeth on edge and she waved away the uniformed officer who offered to help her. “As you were,” she growled as he backed off with his hands still raised in supplication.

Halfway up, she paused, as she did every morning, to both rest and send a silent thought to her brother. Sergeant Detective Frankie Rizzoli had died five years previously that very day, on those very same steps. Sometimes, Jane even thought she could still see the bloodstains left by his gunshot-riddled body. His blood had mixed with her own as they’d both laid there, unconscious and bleeding. She had made it. He hadn’t. It made her angry all over again, as it did every single day, and it was that anger that got her the rest of the way up those cold, stone steps. “Same shit, different shovel,” she murmured as she got to the top and went inside. In fact, Jane almost made it all the way to her office without being stopped… almost. “Lieutenant Rizzoli, Ma’am?”

She turned, pinning her interrupter with brown eyes full of ice. “I prefer sir.”

“Oh, yes, Sir,” the young man replied. “My father told me to introduce myself to you. I’m going to be attending the academy soon and he told me that there’s no better person on the force to learn from. He said…”

The dark woman held up a hand. “Whoa, Kid. Wait.” His mouth closed abruptly, his white teeth making an audible click. “Who are you?”

“Oh!” He stuck out his hand. “John Frost, Ma’am, I mean, Sir.”

The situation suddenly struck Jane as funny and she couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up. “John? Please tell me that your nickname is Jack!” She shook his proffered hand and clapped him on the back.

“No, Sir,” the young man grinned. “Not even my father is that cruel.”

The lieutenant found herself liking the kid and he looked enough like her old partner to bring back some good memories. “Alright, come into my office. We can talk.” Jane turned and slowly headed inside, fully expecting the kid to follow. He didn’t disappoint and she didn’t object to his, when she took her seat, respectfully relieving her of her cane and standing it by the side of the desk.

Then the young man closed the door and took a seat in her guest chair. “It really is an honor to meet you,” he smiled.

“Well, go on,” she replied, a little embarrassed. “Ask your questions.” Then sighed when he took out a legal pad and starting flipping through pages of notes. “Just try not to bore me to tears, Kid.”

**

Doctor Maura Isles was dressed casually in jeans and a neatly pressed cotton shirt, which was unusual for her seeing as she was performing her final duties of the week at her office. She finished up early and tidied her desk before heading out. She stopped briefly to drop some files on her assistant’s desk. “Mary, could you please process these and type up the notes I left on my voice recorder by C.O.B. Monday. I’ll need them on Tuesday morning when I get back.”

The young woman smiled. “Of course, Doctor Isles. I’ll make sure everything is in order when you get back. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Maura grinned internally. When she’d been the Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, she hadn’t even had an assistant. Now, as CME for the County of Los Angeles, she had two although, as anal about paperwork as she was, she actually still did most of it herself. It was nice to have the option though. “No, thanks. Have a nice weekend, Mary. I’ll see you Tuesday.”

“You too, Doctor Isles. Have fun with Cam in Boston.”

“Thanks, Mary.” On the way out of the building, Maura pulled out her iPhone. “Call Cam.”

Cam was packed and ready at the house, just waiting for her Mom to pick her up. “Hey, where are you?”

“Ten minutes away, Hon. All ready?” Maura got into her car and the communications system took over, piping the sound through her stereo speakers. “Did you remember your allergy meds and epi pen?”

“Yep,” the younger blonde replied as she applied a fresh coat of lipstick and tugged her shirt straight. “I’ve got everything.”

“Good. The flight’s in a couple of hours and I’m already packed too. Grab my bag off my bed, would you please?”

“Sure, Mom. I’m waiting. See you in a few.” As she slipped her phone into the back pocket of her jeans, Cam went into her mother’s room to get her case and then carried it down the stairs to sit it beside her own.

She was excited about going to Boston. She was not only going to see her Dad but she was also going to see the city where her mother made her name as one of the best pathologists in the country. Maura Isles had shared some stories with her daughters about some of the cases she’d worked on over the years and Cam couldn’t wait to see the place where she’d worked. The young blonde also had a short list of places she wanted to visit while she and her Mom were there.

Minutes later, Maura’s car pulled up and she got out to help her daughter load the stuff, giving her a brief kiss on the head as she did so. “Let’s go, Kid.”

After a brief stop to lock up the house, the two Isles women got into the car and headed out to brave the traffic to LAX. Cam grinned widely at her Mom. “Boston, here we come!”

A chuckle was her reply. “Did you bring the book?”

**


	2. Chapter 2

2

Cam loved heights. In fact she loved anything that took her feet off the ground. She’d been parasailing, zip lining, abseiling, climbing and even high cliff diving but the one thing she loved most was flying. She found being among the clouds very calming, be it in her Dad’s single engine plane or a commercial jet. Up was just cool.

She ducked her head and pressed as close to the window as she could, gazing out at the formations of white fluff with a sense of anticipation. The teenager was looking forward to spending some vacation time with her Mom but she was feeling nervous about seeing her Dad. Their phone conversation had been somewhat… strained… and she could have sworn that she’d heard a woman in the background that didn’t sound like his girlfriend, Denise. Cam closed her eyes and thought about that for a moment. Then she wondered if her father had managed to screw up ANOTHER relationship. And to think, she’d actually somewhat liked this last one.

Mentally shrugging, the young blonde straightened up and took a sip of cola. She’d been reading _Pride and Prejudice_ and was actually enjoying it but she wasn’t ready to admit that to her Mom though, who was snoozing in the aisle seat beside her. They’d been in the air for about three hours now and the doctor had slept fitfully for most of it. Finally, she opened her eyes and sighed.

“It’s way too noisy to get any sleep,” Maura muttered. She opened a bottle of water and took a long swallow. “You ok, Hon?”

Cam nodded. “I think there might be a movie starting shortly. We’re got another three hours or so to go.”

“I guess I’ll stretch my legs and use the bathroom,” the older woman replied as she reached her arms over her head and cracked her knuckles, not realizing that she was pulling her shirt taut across her breasts. “I’ll be right back.” Maura got up and wandered off down the aisle, leaving her daughter to chuckle silently at the man in the seat across from them, who’d been ogling the doctor for the entire flight.

Cam waited until she caught his eye and winked at him. “Hey, Dude. Why don’t you take a picture? It’ll last a whoooooooole lot longer.” He immediately looked away but not before she saw a blush deepen his skin. “Men,” she muttered and went back to her book.

_And to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading._

Cam suspected that her Mom had been right all along.

**

“So what have we got? And no bullshit, boys.” Jane tilted her chair back and pinned her team with warm brown eyes that they all found terrifying. No one said anything. “Well?”

Sergeant Detective Frost, the only one who wasn’t completely intimidated by his somewhat mercurial boss, cleared his throat. “Well, we have very few leads. We’ve done the legwork and come up with very little. The perp made sure to not leave a spot of forensic evidence behind.”

The dark woman nodded. “What’s the next move?”

Again Frost spoke, but this time his voice was quiet and his dark brown eyes full of remorse. “I have to speak to Maria’s parents again. The first time… they just weren’t able.”

Jane steepled her fingers in front of her face, her elbows propped on the arms of her chair. “Who would blame them,” she murmured softly. She’d seen the crime scene photos and the amount of blood splatter sickened even her. “Some things just can’t be got over.” The lieutenant glanced over at the framed photo of her brother on her office wall and her breath caught as she pulled herself back into the moment. “OK,” she stated. “Get going. I want another status update at the end of the day and you’d better have something for me.”

The team got up and filed out of the room, leaving Jane to her thoughts. Again, her eyes moved to her brother’s picture… her baby brother, who had worked his butt off to fulfill his dream of becoming a homicide detective. His promotion to Sergeant had just come through. And then it had happened.

_”Janie! Jeez, where’s the fire?”_

_“Up your ass, dude!”_

_“Really mature, Sergeant,” the dark man replied. “Seriously, why are you in such a rush?”_

_“Oh c’mon, you know what day it is today, Frankie. I had to stop by Ma’s and drop off her present.”_

_The blank look on her brother’s face made her grimace and she punched him, exasperatedly, in the shoulder._

_“Seriously, Frankie? Please do NOT tell me you forgot her birthday?”_

_“Oh shit,” Frankie slapped himself in the forehead. “She’s going to kill me.” He shook his head. “And Wendy even reminded me a few days ago.”_

_”You have a saint for a wife and you still don’t listen to her. You should have got a present for Ma that VERY SAME DAY!” Jane punched his shoulder again. “GO, get her something. I’ll cover for you.”_

_Frankie spun and headed down the steps. “Thanks, Sis. I’ll be back in a…”_

Neither of them had seen it coming. It was the last thing either of them had expected. 

**

“Wow… this is gorgeous!” Camille Isles followed her mother as they toured their suite at the Four Seasons. “Decided to splash out, eh Mom?”

Maura chuckled as she hiked her bag onto her king sized bed. “I got a good price on flights so I decided to upgrade. Besides…” She crossed the room to Cam and wrapped her up in a gentle hug. “I think we deserve it. We both work hard and it’s nice to take a break from being responsible once and a while.”

“Very true,” the teenager replied. They busied themselves with getting unpacked. Maura flipped the holoviz to the news channel and a reporter materialized in the center of the room.

“… and Police seem to still have no leads in the death of Maria Corbitt, the thirty-six year old mother of two who was stabbed to death in her home two days ago. This grisly murder is the second in a month and it seems like the murderer is going to evade capture once more.”

Maura went back to unpacking, only half paying attention to the dialog. “Lieutenant Detective Jane Rizzoli had this to say earlier on today…” The doctor suddenly whirled around, spilling her toiletries all over the floor as the bag fell from her fingers. The middle of the room was now filled with a tall, dark beautiful woman, in her early fifties with bright brown eyes. Maura abruptly sat on the edge of the bed, unable to pull her eyes away.

Cam rounded the bed, concerned at how pale her mother’s face had become. “Mom? Mom, what’s wrong?”

Maura shook her head. “Nothing, Honey… I just… I used to know that police officer when I was the CME here. I was just surprised to see that she’s the Lieutenant now.”

“Why?” Cam asked. “Did she suck as a cop?”

The doctor turned off the holoviz and wandered across the room to the window. She gazed out over the Charles River and tried to calm her heart rate “Far from it. She’s the best police office I’ve ever worked with. I guess I really shouldn’t be surprised.” Maura stopped talking. It was too hard. She wasn’t ready.

In fact, she wasn’t even sure if she was ready to be back in Boston. There were so many memories… maybe even too many to deal with. But this had been eating at her for almost eighteen years and Maura really felt that she needed to take that first step towards resolution.

The act of coming back to Boston was that step and she really had no clue what to do next. So she did the only thing she could think of in the moment. She turned to her daughter and smiled. “She used to be my best friend.”

**

“You look good on the holoviz, Boss,” a voice called out from the back of the room.

“Thanks.” Jane Rizzoli walked across the bullpen toward the door to the corridor. “But I’ll get a big head if you all don’t stop!”

She smiled as the round of chuckles carried to her. The lieutenant knew that her team was outstanding and she was proud of their family. She just wished they could catch a break in this double homicide case.

The constant clacking of her cane was really getting on her nerves so she lifted it higher and forced herself to walk without it. “I have to get a rubber end for this damn thing,” she muttered.

“Or a tennis ball,” Frost added as he joined her. “That’d be VERY attractive.”

“Shut up, Barry, or I’ll tell your son that you used to throw up constantly when you first moved to homicide.”

“Touchy, touchy,” the black detective laughed. “But seriously, Jane, I need some guidance on this case. The lack of evidence is stunning and I’m terrified that the only way we’re going to get this guy is if he kills again.”

Jane nodded and paused as they reached the ladies room. “I know. How did the interview with Maria’s parents go?”

Frost sighed. “About like I expected. They’re completely devastated, Jane. Mrs. Hackett can hardly even say Maria’s name without breaking down.”

“What about the husband?”

“Brian Corbitt. Rock solid alibi. He was with his mother at a funeral of all things. A friend of hers died and he gave her a ride to the church. He found Maria when he got home.”

The lieutenant shook her head. “This had to have been planned… but how did the perp know that the husband wouldn’t be at home? Frost, go over all of the husband’s friends, acquaintances, co-workers and ask him who else knew he was going to be at the funeral. Do the same for Maria’s.”

The detective flapped his notebook against his hand. “We’re on that but it’s slow going. The husband isn’t thinking straight and his memories are skewed. I’ll stay on it.”

“Thanks,” Jane replied. “Keep me in the loop.”

After the lieutenant was finished in the ladies room, she took a walk to stretch her legs. She stopped off for coffee at the café and then got in the lift. Moments later, she found herself standing outside the autopsy lab window, watching the CME bent over a body laid out on the table.

Doctor Stratford looked up and saw her, shooting her a grin and raising a hand in greeting. “Need something?” he called.

“Nah,” Jane replied. “Just on a walk.”

“Ok,” he replied amiably and went back to work. Jane closed her eyes for a moment, remembering a different, more petite figure bent over the autopsy table. She thought back to a different time when this had been so different. To a time before mistakes had been made and words, which could never be taken back or forgiven, had been spoken.

She missed those times with every fiber of her being. She missed that life, that happiness.

And her.

**


	3. Chapter 3

3

_“Officers down! Officers down!”_

_The words echoed through Jane’s mind. She was hurt… bad. Her body refused to move from its angled, grotesque position. The cold stone steps seeped every last ounce of warmth from her where she lay on them. “Ugghhh… Frankie?”_

_“Ja… J….”_

_Jane managed to move her head to look at her brother. The steps where he lay were covered in blood. His eyes were wide and terrified. A stream of blood escaped his mouth and he coughed, spraying more._

_“Frankie…” Jane called insistently. “Stay with me.” She saw the stream of blood coming from her wounds mixing with his and she swallowed hard as she almost threw up. She forced her eyes back to meet her baby brother’s but… they were no longer frightened._

“FRANKIE!!!”

Lieutenant Rizzoli woke up shouting her brother’s name. But this nightmare was no stranger to her. She’d been having it for a long time now.

..

“Good morning, Honey. Did you sleep well?” Maura stifled a grin at the sight of her sleep-tousled sixteen year old. The doctor was an early riser and was already showered and dressed.

Cam groaned and flopped down into the other armchair, slinging one leg over the arm and blowing out a deep breath. “Morning. Yeah, I slept really well.” She leaned in and peered at the contents of the tray sitting on the table next to her. “Breakfast?”

The older woman nodded and folded her newspaper closed. “Yes. I just ordered up some bagels, cream cheese, coffee and OJ.”

“Sweet! Thanks, Mom. After I eat I’ll take a shower and we can head out.”

Maura relaxed back and crossed her denim-covered legs. “Have you decided what you want to do today?”

“Yeah,” Cam grinned. “Boston Duck Tour.”

The doctor laughed. “Wow. Ok, I’ve actually never done that before.”

“Cool. I was also thinking that, since one of the starting points for the Duck Tour is the New England Aquarium, we could stop there for a visit too.” Cam finished her bagel and orange juice and got up. “Sound good?”

“Yes, it does,” Maura replied. “At what time are you meeting your Dad?”

A wave of nervousness made the younger blonde pause. “Um… he’s picking me up here at six for dinner and a movie. I’m not sure where exactly he’s taking me.”

“If he’s still a creature of habit, he’ll probably take you to the AMC over at Boston Common,” the doctor mused. “Ok, go get ready. We’ve got a duck tour to do!”

Cam scampered off to the bathroom while Maura picked up the remote and turned on the holoviz. She avoided the news channel for now and settled on an old movie with Will Smith called After Earth. She remembered back to when it was first released and sighed inwardly. 2013. How apt for her current situation.

2013 was the year she’d made the biggest mistake of her life.

_“You just can’t help yourself, can you?”_

_Detective Jane Rizzoli paused mid-pancake-chew and peered at her mother with a questioning look. “Can’t help what, Ma?”_

_“Teasing your brothers!” Angela Rizzoli exclaimed. “I heard you with Tommy this morning.”_

_With a deeply aggrieved sigh, Jane pointed her fork at her mother. “You do realize that both of my brothers are grown men? And are very well capable of taking care of themselves.” She pushed her long, dark hair back behind her ears and then went back to eating. “In fact, ONE of my brothers is more than man enough to have made a son of his own!”_

_Angela shook her head. “I know, I know”_

_“He can’t hold down a job, but he’s making a surprisingly good father.”_

_“There you go again!” the older woman exclaimed. “You just can’t help yourself!”_

_“With what?” Doctor Maura Isles took a seat opposite her best friend and looked between the two women. “What’s going on?”_

_“Well,” Jane stated. “Tommy’s a screw up but I’m getting yelled at for teasing him.”_

_Maura paused a moment. “I wouldn’t call Tommy a screw up. He’s just… misguided sometimes.”_

_The detective looked at her now delighted mother and rolled her eyes at her friend. “Suckup!”_

_“I am not,” Maura shot back with an offended sniff. “I actually think Tommy is a very good guy.”_

_“Thank you, Maura,” Angela stated as she headed back to the café counter to serve her customers._

_“You should be nicer,” the doctor went on. “It upsets her when you say stuff about Tommy.” She went to make herself a cup of green tea and then returned to their table. “Seriously, Jane.”_

_The detective paused a moment and then tapped the corner of her phone on the table. “I know you and Tommy are seeing each other, Maura.”_

_Slender fingers stilled their task of steeping the tea bag. After a moment, Maura lifted her eyes and met her friend’s. “Are you mad?”_

_Jane sighed. “I’m worried about you, Maura. Tommy doesn’t exactly have a very good track record now, does he?”_

_The doctor nodded. “Everything will be ok, Jane. It’s just some harmless dates.”_

_Brown eyes filled with worry peered back. “Ok, but if he hurts you, I’ll kill him myself!”_

..

“Thanks so much for today, Mom. It was fun!” Cam hugged her mother at the front entrance to their hotel. They were both tired after a long day of sightseeing and Maura wished for nothing more than a hot bath and a quiet dinner with a nice bottle of wine.

“You’re welcome, Kid. Have fun with your Dad, ok? And don’t be too late.”

“I won’t,” the teenager replied with a laugh.

After a final kiss to her daughter’s forehead, the doctor strolled into the lobby and towards the elevators. She and Cam had managed to do some shopping too and she was laden down with bags from various stores. A sudden thought about where they were actually going to pack all their new stuff popped into her head but she shrugged and decided to worry about it later on.

A short elevator ride later, she keyed the door lock to her suite and managed to get everything inside. She kicked the door shut and dropped the bags, letting them just lay right there as she went to the coffee machine to set it to brew.

Maura was dog tired. Following her sixteen-year-old daughter around all day had really tired her out so she ordered a chicken salad and bottle of wine from room service. Then she moved to the bathroom and turned on the shower, letting it heat up while she stripped out of her clothes.

The water was piping hot, just as she liked it, and she stood for a long moment under the energetic stream, letting it wash the aches of the long day away. She lathered her hair, squeezing her eyes closed as she felt the soap run down her face and slide between her breasts. Then she rinsed it thoroughly and went to work on washing the rest of her body. The gel was lavender scented, soothing to her senses and she felt the tension roll away along with the suds.

Moments later, Maura stepped out of the shower and toweled off, wrapping a smaller towel around her hair. The robes provided by the hotel were soft and fresh-smelling so she put one on and got some coffee before switching on the holoviz. She flopped into the armchair in which she’d read the morning newspaper.

“… often hit by cars and their joeys must be hand raised by staff in the animal shelters to which they’re brought.”

David Attenborough’s soothing voice and gentle manner just relaxed her even further. She was just on the verge of falling asleep when a sharp rap at the door snapped her fully alert again. It was her dinner and after signing the check, she settled back down to eat and watch the end of the program about Australia.

Not that Maura hadn’t ever been to Australia. She’d been there several times, in fact, but not for a few years. Not since the last time she’d seen Ian, the charismatic doctor who she’d thought had been the love of her life until she’d realized that someone else had taken that title from him. Someone that meant more to her than Ian ever could. Someone who made her feel like she was the most important woman that had ever lived.

Maura’s breath caught for a moment as sadness, powerful as a tidal wave, crashed over her and brought heavy tears to her eyes. But she didn’t allow them to continue. Instead, she wiped her eyes, shoved the emotion down as she always did and went back to eating.

It was getting harder to do that. Boston, in fact, made it almost impossible.

..

“Lieutenant Rizzoli.”

Jane got to her feet and came to attention as quickly as she could. “Sir.”

“As you were,” Captain Cavanaugh replied. He took her guest seat and dropped his cap on the table as Jane took her own seat.

“Coffee?”

“No, thanks. Your Mom got me out of the habit but I’ll take some tea if it’s going.”

Jane buzzed the comm on her desk. “Jackie, can we have two teas please?”

“Yes, Sir,” her assistant replied. “It’ll be just a few moment.”

“Thanks.” The lieutenant sighed then. “I know why you’re here, Sean.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes. You’re about to retire and you want this guy caught so you can go out with a bang.”

Cavanaugh chucked. “Ok, so you do know why I’m here.”

Jane sat forward in her seat and smiled. “Come on, Sean, you’ve been my boss for almost twenty-five years and you were married to my Mother for almost seventeen of those. I think I’ve gotten to know you pretty well.” She paused a second and then sighed. “You must miss her a lot.”

“You’re probably the only one who really understands how much,” Cavanaugh replied. “Losing her wasn’t easy on any of us.”

“No,” The lieutenant agreed. “It wasn’t.” She shook her head. “Those were a tough couple of years all in all.”

The Captain took a deep breath. “Have you seen or heard from… him?”

“No,” Jane growled. “And he can just stay away from me. He didn’t even show up to Frankie’s funeral.”

“Jane,” you know he couldn’t. “He…”

“Dammit, Sean,” The dark woman’s fist slammed into her desktop. “Stop making excuses for him.” That action drew attention from the detectives outside and she raised a hand to let them know through the window that everything was ok. “I’m sorry,” she murmured. “But it was Frankie.”

“I know, Jane.” Cavanaugh replied. The door opened and Jackie brought in a tray of tea with some cookies on a side plate. Even the chocolate chips didn’t tempt the lieutenant so she simply poured two cups and left her stepfather to his own devices. “So, anyway,” he went on. “Where are we?”

Lieutenant Rizzoli pulled her tablet computer closer and hit a code. All of the details of the case appeared, suspended above the small holoviz on her desk, and she explained everything in detail to her boss.

It didn’t take long because they really didn’t have much at all.

..

“Hi, Daddy!” Cam ran to her father and he picked her up and swung her around, kissing her on the cheek as he did so.

“Hi SweetPea. Boy, you’re getting more grown up every time I see you. It’s been too long, my Darling.”

“Yes, it has,” the teenager admonished. “It’s been six months. Daddy, where have you been?”

James “Jim” Thomas set his daughter back down and scratched his cheek guiltily. “I know, Baby. I’ve been travelling quite a bit. I have to work hard to keep the company ticking over, you know. In fact, I’m only going to be two days in Boston. I live in Los Angeles now.”

Cam’s eyes narrowed. “With Denise?”

Again, Jim shook his head. “Denise and I broke up a couple of months ago. I’m seeing Georgia now. She’s from San Francisco. I think you’ll like her.”

The teenager poked him in the chest. “Jeez, Dad, that what you said about Denise!”

Jim made a face and poked her back. “I never said Denise was from San Francisco.”

“Ha freakin’ Ha!” Cam grimaced. “Ok, anyway, where are we going?”

Jim, bowed slightly and pointed with a flourish. “Boston Common. Dinner and movie.”

“Oh. Wow. So you ARE a creature of habit,” Cam murmured with a chuckle.

Her father looked confused. “Huh?”

The teenager just laughed and linked his arm. “Nothing, Daddy, don’t worry about it.”

..


	4. Chapter 4

4

_"Hey". Jane opened the door wider and stepped aside. Without a word, the doctor stumbled inside, pulling off her coat and dropping it on the back of the sofa. Then she turned to face the tall detective, her face streaked with tears. Jane suddenly realized that Maura was drunk and immediately went to her and wrapped her arms around her. "What is it?"_

_"Tommy and I broke up."_

_Jane nodded and threaded her fingers gently through her friend's blonde hair, pushing it back behind her ears. "That didn't take long. What did he do?"_

_"Nothing. It's me!" Maura replied between sobs. She fished a Kleenex out of her pocket and blew her nose._

_Jane took her hand and guided her to the couch, where they took a seat facing each other. "Maura, what happened?" she asked gently. "Wait… Oh my God, you're not pregnant, are you?"_

_"NO! God, no, we never even slept together! I… I… Jane… there's something… I need to…" Maura hiccupped and blew her nose again._

_Jane moved closer to her friend and took her hand. "Maura, you know you can talk to me about anything. Really."_

_The blonde woman nodded and sidled even closer to the detective. She reached out a trembling hand and cupped Jane's cheek, stroking her skin with her thumb and meeting her eyes. For a long moment, Jane's face was filled with puzzlement but then her breathing stilled and she suddenly realized what was happening._

_Maura's heart was thundering in her chest and, even through the haze of two bottles of wine, she felt terrified but if she didn't do it now, she didn't think she ever would. So she moved in and brushed her lips against Jane's, closing her eyes and savoring the moment. Her mind recorded every smell, every sound, down to the ticking wall clock, and the taste of the light lipstick her friend wore. The detective's lips were very soft and Maura felt no resistance so she kissed her again, this time feeling the response as her friend's hands cupped her cheeks. It only lasted a moment before Jane gently guided them apart. "Maura, no," she murmured as she pressed their foreheads together._

_"No?" The doctor pulled back. "You're saying no?"_

_"Maura," Jane replied softly. "Not like this. Not when you're drunk."_

_Maura pulled completely away. "You don't want me," she stated, very flatly. She got up from the couch and put her coat on. "I shouldn't have come. I shouldn't have told you. I completely misread the signals of the past few months."_

_The detective got up too and quickly moved to her. "No, it's not like that, Maura. I just… I'd feel like I was taking advantage of you."_

_But the doctor was too upset to hear what her friend was saying. "Forget it, Jane," she stated. "I'll see myself out. Goodnight."_

_"But… Maur… wait… I… I just wasn't expecting…" But the door was already slammed and her best friend was already gone. Jane threw her hands up in exasperation and ran to grab her keys and shoes but, by the time she got down to the street, Maura was getting into a taxi and being driven away. "UGGGGHHH! DAMMIT! WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?"_

Standing, gazing out over the Charles River, Maura Isles remembered the night it all started to go to hell and wondered if she'd sent herself back there by coming to Boston with her daughter. Only time would tell.

..

"So, how's your Mom doing?" Jim asked his daughter. They'd taken a walk in the Boston Common and seen a movie in the nearby theater and now they were chatting over pizza. The sun was almost set and they were sitting outside the restaurant at a metal table under a large umbrella, enjoying the summer weather.

Cam, put her drink down and fiddled with the straw a bit. "She's doing great," she replied. "We both love living in Los Angeles and we've been having fun. Mom's book did really well and I did some traveling with her a few months ago."

Jim sat up straighter. "She wrote a book? When?"

The teenager sighed. "She worked on it for three years and finally had it published five months ago. "We spent three months traveling from city to city, doing signings and appearances. Everyone loved her, Daddy. She was so awesome!"

The older man nodded. "She was always awesome, Honey, and completely brilliant."Camille nodded and took his hand. "Then why did things not work out between you? Why did you never get married after I was born?"

Jim sighed and looked down, tracing the letters on his beer glass with his fingertip. "Honestly, Cam. Your Mom and I wouldn't have ever been really happy."

"But why, Dad?" Cam pressed. "I'd really like to know why."

For a long moment, Jim looked into his daughter's face and saw a person there who was no longer a child. She'd grown up and he'd missed it somehow.

"Because…" he sighed. "She was in love with someone else. I never really stood a chance."

Cam was completely shocked and she leaned back in her chair for a long moment, just absorbing the information her father had provided. "Who was she in love with?" she finally asked.

"That," Jim replied. "Is a question for your Mom."

..

It was getting late and still Cam wasn't back. Maura lay on her bed, her cell phone beside her as she contemplated whether she should call her daughter or not. She was so caught up in trying to make the decision that, when her phone rang, she almost dropped it, it scared her so much.

"Hey, Honey," she answered, trying to sound as normal as possible. "How are you?'

"I'm great, Mom. I'm just calling to let you know that we're almost back to the hotel. I didn't want to wake you or scare you coming in."

"That's fine, I wasn't asleep. I was just watching a movie on the holoviz. They have some old movie channels that are great." Maura shook her head at herself. "Did you have a nice time with your dad?"

"I had a great time." Cam's smile was audible in her voice. "But there I something I'd like to talk to you about."

_Uh oh._

"Sure, Sweetheart," Maura replied, suddenly nervous. "We can talk about anything you want."

'Ok, thanks, Mom. I'll be there in ten."

"See you then, Cam."

..

"So, please tell me you have something. Captain Cavanaugh was here today asking me about progress."

Detective Marty Portman was the first of the group to speak. He was a twenty-year veteran of the force but his inability to think outside the box had kept him at that grade, all this time.

"We have a person of interest, Sir."

Jane sprang forward in her chair. "Really? Tell me."

Portman activated his tablet and the data on the suspect appeared, hovering over his portable holoviz. The dark woman quickly drank in the details.

"Joe Shoemaker, thirty-four, construction worker. He works with Maria Corbitt's husband at the moment. We cross referenced the two cases and found that he was also known to the husband of the previous victim, Joelle Lawson."

Lieutenant Rizzoli nodded. "Great work, Guys. Quietly bring him in for questioning. If Shoemaker is not our man, I don't want to drive our guy to kill again, just to make a point, ok?"

"Yes, Sir," the team replied as they got up and left the room to get a warrant. The suspect was viable. Now, with a bit of luck, Jane thought, he might just be the one.

She got up from her seat. Her body was aching from the tossing and turning and dreaming she'd been going through. It was almost quitting time so she grabbed her keys and headed out the door with a purpose in mind. A beer. A frosty-cold Sam Adams of some flavor would really do her the world of good, she reckoned, so she left headquarters and walked to her favorite bar, The Dirty Robber.

Jane grabbed a booth and slipped in, wincing as her hip protested. She was scheduled for some more tests shortly to see if the bullet lodged there had moved at all. The stiffness and pain seemed to be getting worse.

The lieutenant beckoned to the barman and he raised a hand in acknowledgement. He knew what she liked so Jane just relaxed and closed her eyes, thinking once again about that day.

_"Jane?" The voice roused the detective and she slowly blinked her eyes, trying to clear the fogginess from them. "Janie?" She felt rough and a little sick to her stomach. She wasn't sure where she was either, except that she was lying down and stuff hurt._

_"Mom," she rasped and her hand was immediately taken and held._

_"It's me, Babe."_

_"Uggghhh… what happened?"_

_Her mother sucked in a breath. "You were shot, Jane. They said it was a perp who grabbed a patrolman's gun on the way into the headquarters. He fired over and over as he was turning and you and… and… Frankie… got in the way."_

_Jane's eyes suddenly widened. "Frankie!" she cried out. "Where is he? Where's Frankie." Then she noticed that her Mom's were red rimmed and swollen._

_"Janie," she whispered. Tears poured down her face as she shook her head. "Frankie didn't make it."_

_"NOOOOO!" Jane screamed. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Frankie!" She dissolved into heavy sobs as her mother set on the edge of the bed and they held each other, crying together, united in grief over the loss of a brother and a son._

Even five years later, the pain of losing her brother was acute, but the beer helped some and she sipped the cold brew pensively, still lost in memory.

..

Cam got out of her Dad's EcoCar and then leaned one knee on the seat to stretch back over and give him a kiss.

"Seeya, Pop. I had a good time. Thank you."

Jim chuckled. "Me too. Say hi to your Mom for me. Oh hey, don't forget this." He picked up her bag from the passenger floor well and handed it over to her.

"Thanks. I'll tell her." She was about to turn away but her father caught her attention again.

"Hey, Cam? Go easy on your Mom, ok? She's had a hard time."

The teenager didn't quite understand but she shrugged lightly and smiled as she hitched her bag up onto her shoulder and tugged her shirt straight. "I will. Bye, Dad."

"Bye, Honey." Jim watched her until he saw her getting into the elevator and then pulled away, the electric hum of his vehicle not even nearly drowning out the sound of his thoughts.

Cam hit the button for her floor and rode the elevator up. Moments later, she was outside the suite she was sharing with her mother and she knocked on the door, waiting a moment for it to open.

"Hi, Kid," Maura smiled as she stepped back to let the teenager enter. "Did you have fun?"

"Yeah, it was good," Cam replied as she hung her bag on the coat rack near the door. "We saw a movie and talked about some stuff."

The doctor sat back down in her armchair and sipped from a glass of wine. "There's some soda in the refrigerator if you're thirsty. So, what did you guys talk about?"

"A lot of stuff," the younger woman replied. She grabbed a soda and took a seat next to her mother. "We talked a bit about you and him and why you didn't get married when I was born."

Maura nodded pensively. "What did your Dad say about that?"

"Well, I asked him why and he kinda said something strange." The doctor closed her eyes and waited. "He said it was because you were in love with someone else and when I asked who…" The teenager shrugged.

Maura's breath caught. "He said to ask me."

Cam nodded and sipped her soda again. "Right."

_He respected my wishes. Thanks, Jim._ "Good."

..


	5. Chapter 5

5

“I think I might need another bottle of wine,” Maura chuckled nervously, as she moved across the room to sit down on the couch. She patted the seat beside her in a silent request for Cam to join her there.

The teenager sat, a can of cola in her hand, and crossed her legs. “Surely this can’t be as bad as you’re making it out to be?”

The doctor ran a hand through her hair. “My pulse is racing, my breathing is elevated and I feel like bursting into tears. My emotional response to the thought of explaining this all to you should be an indication of how much this time in my life hurt.”

“Wow, Mom, you should try to relax.” Cam, gently rubbed her mother’s arm, suddenly worried.

Maura’s eyes were fixed on the red fabric under her thighs and she was murmuring, almost to herself. “Yes, the possibility of my suffering a cardiac arrest is quite high at this moment.” She pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a shaky breath. “Ok, so, you know that your Dad and I had you but never got married.”

Cam nodded. “Yeah, I know that part.” She took a sip of cola, her eyes not leaving her mother’s face. Their identical hazel eyes met for a long moment. “What happened, Mom? How did you two meet?”

  


_“Gimme ‘nother…”_

_“Lady, I think you’ve had enough.”_

_A hand slammed heavily onto the bar top. “’Nother!”_

_The music in the bar was loud and the nightclub lights spun over Maura’s head, making her feel more than a little dizzy… or maybe that was the alcohol? The doctor didn’t care. The scene with Jane had been so embarrassing. Jane had completely rejected her after months of flirting and little looks and touches. Could Maura have really misread all that?_

_Another drink appeared on the bar in front of her and she picked it up and took a long swallow. Part of her was completely bewildered. Going out and getting drunk was not her style at all. In fact a couple of glasses of wine or a bottle or two of beer was normally as much as she’d let herself drink, especially since she could be called to a crime scene at any moment._

_Crime scenes made her think of Jane again and she took another swallow of her drink before leaning down and resting her forehead on the bar. She was tired, drunk, hurt and now angry too. How could Jane lead her on that way? They were best friends, weren’t they?_

_The music continued blaring into Maura’s brain and on an impulse, she got up and walked unsteadily onto the dance floor. There were bodies everywhere and the blonde lost herself in anonymity for a long moment as she moved to the music. She was approached a couple of times by people who sniffed interestedly around her, but she was too upset, too raw to want their attention._

_The music transitioned into a slow set and she sighed and headed back to her seat at the bar. Her drink was almost done but, when she tried to get the bartender’s attention, he wagged a finger at her and mouthed “No more”._

_Maura groaned but nodded. Maybe he was right. Maybe she was too tanked to even know what she was doing. And when she looked up and saw him, she suddenly hoped she was. He was tall, dark and had the brownest eyes she’d ever seen. The second brownest, her mind suggested helpfully. Jane’s are better. Oh Shut UP!!!_

_“What’s your name?” he asked as he placed another drink in front of her. He didn’t notice the barman rolling his eyes in their direction._

_“Maura. What’s yours?”_

_“My name is Jim.” He took the seat next to her and a swallow of his beer. “What do you do, Maura?”_

_“I’m a doctor,” Maura replied. “A pathologist actually.” He was really good looking and her mind helpfully reminded her that he was about Jane’s height. Jane; the one she wanted more than anyone. The one who made her feel things that she hadn’t felt in a long time. Not since Isabel in college and Angie in medical school._

_The doctor pinched the bridge of her nose and shoved those feelings away as her companion smiled at her. “I’m a fund accountant. I have my own business and it’s finally starting to get off the ground.”_

_Maura got up off her seat and took Jim’s hand. “That’s great. Want to dance?”_

  


“Mom.” Cam held up her hand. “You picked him up in a nightclub?” 

“Yes,” Maura replied with a little laugh. “Being drunk and in a nightclub was so out of character for me, it’s actually a miracle I ever met him.” 

“But why were you so drunk and upset in the first place?” The teenager tucked her legs up under her and settled in for the rest of the story. 

The doctor sighed and scratched her cheek thoughtfully. “Remember the woman on the holoviz the night we arrived here, the woman I said used to be my best friend?" 

“Lieutenant Rizz… Rizzles…?” Cam struggled. 

“Rizzoli” came the quiet correction. “Jane Rizzoli.” Maura’s face was tight with emotion. 

“I remember,” the younger woman replied. “Who is she?” 

“She was the best friend I ever had or could hope to ever have,” the doctor replied, her voice trembled a little. “She and I worked together and played together. We went running and drank wine and watched movies. She put up with the geeky fountain of useless knowledge that is my brain and she listened and supported me when I was down. She was an amazing person.” Maura got up slowly and walked to the window, looking out over the river and letting the memories play through her mind. “Jane and I were inseparable. I was like one of her family. I even had her mother living in my guest house for a while.” 

Cam joined her mother at the window. “What happened? Did you two fight over something?” 

The blonde doctor laughed bitterly. “You could say that,” she replied. “But, Cam, before I go on with the story, there’s something I have to tell you.” The younger woman nodded but remained silent as her mother swallowed. “Jane was not only my best friend, but she’s also the only person with whom I’ve ever truly been in love.” 

“Wow,” came the quiet reaction. Cam took her mother’s hand and squeezed it gently. “I had no idea. I guess that’s where I get it.” Maura’s eyes widened a moment but the teenager chuckled. “I like girls, Mom. No big deal. Tell me more about you and Jane.” 

“Well,” Maura went on, “I really screwed up. BAD. The next morning, after I woke up next to your Dad and so hungover I was cross-eyed, I did what I do best. I tried to tell myself that it would be for the best if I just forgot about how I felt about Jane and just got on with things. So, after a quick breakfast with your Dad, I agreed to see him again.” 

Cam shook her head. “Oh Mom. That’s… oh boy.” 

The doctor shook her head in unison. “That’s kind of what Jane said, only with worse language and a LOT more angrily.” 

“I bet!” 

  


_“Maura, please, just talk to me?” Jane walked around the autopsy table to catch her friend’s eyes. “Please?”_

_“There’s nothing to talk about” came the cool reply. “I was drunk and I shouldn’t have come to your apartment.” Maura neatly made the Y incision, making sure not to meet the detective’s eyes._

_“But… but… Maura!” Jane threw her hands up in despair. “You kissed me. We should talk about that, shouldn’t we? Last night was…”_

_“A mistake,” Doctor Isles said loudly. “It was a drunken mistake and I know you don’t want me that way. I understand that.”_

_“Maura…”_

_“Please go, Jane.”_

_“Maur…”_

_“NOW” The detective took a step back as she suddenly found a scalpel pointed at her._

“Ok,” she said quietly. “But can we talk later? Tonight, maybe?” 

_Maura shook her head. “I can’t. I met someone last night. I’m seeing him again tonight.”_

_For a moment, Jane stared at her incredulously. Then she completely exploded. “HIM??? Maura! For the love of God! You kissed me last night and then you went and fucked some guy you met in a bar???”_

_The door swung open and Susie, Maura’s lab tech entered. She saw the expressions on the women’s face as they both whirled around to glare at her so she pointed over her shoulder toward the door, spun on her heel and almost ran out of the room._

_“Don’t you start, Jane! You’re the one who rejected me! YOU, who runs away at the slightest hint of having feelings for someone! YOU who loves to flirt and have fun but runs STRAIGHT back into the CLOSET as soon as a woman shows a bit of interest.”_

_“ME??!!!” The detective roared. “At least I’m not a complete SLUT who jumps into bed with the first DICK that points her direction!”_

_Neither woman had been prepared for the fist that had lifted in fury and clocked the tall detective in the face, sending her sprawling back onto the thankfully empty left autopsy table and then onto the floor. Maura was too furious to even react, other than to drag her gown, protective glasses and head wrap off and fling them onto the floor. “Stay the hell away from me, Jane. We’re finished!” She ran out the door, bursting into tears as she headed for the ladies bathroom._

_For a long moment, Jane lay there. She slowly rolled onto her side and groaned, the blood from her broken nose dripping onto the floor. “That really sucked.”_

  


“You hit her.” Cam stated. “I’ve never seen you hit anyone in my life!” 

“I haven’t,” Maura replied, her cheeks red. “I broke my hand when I hit her.” 

“What happened then,” the teenager asked. “Did you two talk?” 

“Not really.” The doctor shook her head. “Our friendship was irreparably damaged. We spoke to each other only when we had to and purely in a professional capacity. But I missed her, Cam. Even as your Dad and I continued to date, I missed her so much but I was hurt and angry and I just couldn’t get past it.” 

They took their seats back on the couch and Maura poured herself some more wine. Cam took a long moment to think about what her Mom had told her so far. “So what happened then?” 

“We successfully avoided each other as much as possible for a couple of years,” the doctor explained. “And then,” she smiled for the first time, “I found out I was pregnant. I was thrilled and terrified but your Dad was so happy, it made me feel that the pregnancy was so special. Unfortunately, I also made me admit that I didn’t love your Dad, that I’d never really loved him.” 

“Did he know?” Cam asked. 

“If he did at that time, he didn’t give any indication of it. My biggest concern was you, though. I wanted to do everything right. Your Dad was completely supportive and excited about you.” 

Maura’s eyes unfocused as she thought back. “Then one day, I was leaning over a body, examining stomach contents, when I heard the door swing open. I turned and almost fainted when I saw who it was. 

  


_Jane moved slowly across the room, her eyes never leaving Maura’s. “Jane,” the doctor murmured, her tone neutral. “What brings you down here?”_

_“I… uh… I heard your good news and I just wanted to say congratulations,” the tall detective replied. Her eyes were full of tears. “To you and Jim.”_

_“Thank you, Jane,” Maura replied quietly. “We’re very happy.”_

_“I bet.” Jane paused a moment and ran a hand through her long, dark hair. “I also wanted to tell you that I’m taking a year of leave, since we’ve been working on some cases that I’ll be passing off to other detectives. I’m going to travel for a while. Maybe take a trip to Australia.”_

_Maura suddenly couldn’t breathe. “Ok, thanks,” she whispered. “When are you leaving?”_

_“Right now,” the detective replied. She moved a little closer and reached out, hesitantly taking the doctor’s hand and squeezing gently. “Goodbye, Maura.”_

_Then she spun and quickly exited the room, leaving a stunned Doctor Isles to stare after her._

_Goodbye, Jane_


	6. Chapter 6

6

_Goodbye, Maura._

_Detective Rizzoli slammed her palms over and over against the steering wheel of her cruiser, as she yelled, letting the tears come and not caring who might see her in the BPD parking garage. The hurt that had been consuming her for a year finally spilled out and she kept going until she was reduced to hoarse sobbing and she tipped her head back against the headrest, closing her eyes tiredly._

_The dam had broken when she’d heard of Maura’s pregnancy and she just had to get away. The memories were killing her: Maura in that sleek baseball outfit that had made the detective’s mouth water; Maura lying on the bed next to Jane, talking about life, work, love, sex… and lack thereof; Maura helping the Rizzoli family to take care of little T.J.; Maura’s kindness toward Jane’s mother when she’d needed somewhere to go and a million other moments they’d had together. Jane wasn’t even sure when she’d fallen in love with her best friend. It had just happened._

_It hurt so bad to be away from her. Even the small amount of time they’d had over the previous year, despite the bickering and then impersonal standoffishness had kept Jane going but…_

_A baby. With him._

_Rizzoli started the engine and drove away. She needed to be away._

..

“Are you sure you just want to do some shopping today?” Maura asked as she and Cam left the little café they’d chosen for breakfast. It was a lovely morning and they were both sufficiently caffeinated to the point that they were both in an excellent mood. “You don’t want to take in any more of the sights?”

“No, thanks, Mom,” the teenager replied. “Stuff is cheaper here than in L.A. and I have my eye on the new iPod Touch.

“Ah, I see,” the doctor chucked. “Your Dad gave you money, huh?”

Camille grinned. “Yeah, he gave me a thousand dollars. Compensation for guilt maybe?”

They shared a laugh but then Maura sobered, pushing her daughter’s hair back from her neck and laying her hand on her shoulder. “Don’t be too hard on your Dad. It wasn’t all roses in a relationship with me. I was a confused about everything over those three years we were together.”

“Funny,” the younger woman chuckled. “He told me not to be too hard on you either.”

Maura shrugged and they strolled along the street in silence for a while. The doctor was thinking about Jane Rizzoli. In fact, she’d hardly thought about anything else since she’d seen the lieutenant on the holoviz that very first night they’d arrived.

Jane had been just as beautiful as Maura had remembered and her heart had sent a long dormant flutter through her. Even after all these years, Maura still loved her as much as she had back in 2013 when they’d said goodbye. Or sort of a goodbye.

“Mom?” Cam repeated for the third time, this time taking her mother’s arm. “Heeeellllooooo?”

The doctor snapped back to reality. “Oh sorry,” She looked around in confusion. “I completely spaced out there for a second. I was thinking about…” Maura paused and sighed.

“Jane?” Cam supplied. “Mom, why don’t you call her? Or drop by the police station. You know where she is.”

“No, no, I couldn’t,” Maura replied in a panicked voice. “No way, Camille.”

“Jesus Christ,” The teenager stopped, her hands perched on her hips in a fair imitation of her mother’s own pose. She ran a hand through her hair. “Are you still in love with her or not?”

Looking around, the doctor spotted a bench and went to it, sitting down heavily and shaking her head. Cam followed and sat beside her. The bench was warm from the morning sun but neither of them noticed. “I… I…” Maura’s mouth opened and closed.

The teenager shook her head. “Simple question, Mother. Are you still in love with her?”

“Yes, I’m still in love with her,’ came the quiet answer. “I’ll always love her. But Cam, she’s probably married by now. She’s not going to want me interfering in her life.”

“How do you know, unless you try?” Camille smiled. “Did she really turn you down that night, Mom? That night you went to her apartment, drunk?”

“I don’t… I’m not sure…” Maura replied. “But I do know it was my fault afterwards.” She rubbed her eyes as tears spilled down her face. “She wanted to talk about it but I was so hurt and angry. I pushed her away and then I didn’t know how to fix that… and then it was too late.”

Cam was quiet for a long moment but then she opened her small backpack and pulled out her tablet computer. “Mom, I’m not sure if you want to read this but…” She hit a series of buttons and her portable holoviz flashed to life, displaying a slowly rotating image of Lieutenant Jane Rizzoli. “There was a piece done by the Boston Herald recently about her and the part she played in solving a serial killer case a year ago. But the part I think you should know is this.” She highlighted a piece of text and read out loud. “Lieutenant Rizzoli, 53, is a thirty-three-year veteran of the Boston Police Department. She has been injured multiple times in the line of duty, the most recent being five years ago when she and her brother, Sergeant Detective Francesco Rizzoli Jnr. , were shot by Boston gang members on the steps of the BPD headquarters building for reasons still unknown. Lieutenant Rizzoli suffered serious hip and spinal injuries but her brother died at the scene. Lieutenant Rizzoli is unmarried and states that she’s…” Cam made little quote marks in the air. “Married to the Job.”

“Oh my God, Frankie,” Maura whispered, her hand moving to cover her mouth. “Poor Jane! Poor Angela!”

“Frankie was your friend too?” the younger blonde asked.

“Yes,” Maura got up and paced in front of the bench. “He was a very good man and a wonderful friend and brother.”

“I’m sorry,” Camille murmured. “But it’s time to make a decision, Mom. What’s the worst that can happen? She refuses to see you and you’re in exactly the same position as you are now.”

The doctor nodded slowly. “I’ll think about it. I’m not sure I’m ready.”

“Good, give it some thought and maybe you can see…”

But a loud boom, that made the ground shake and the people nearby scream and duck, cut off Cam’s words.

“What the hell…” Maura grabbed her daughter and held her close as they looked down the street and saw billowing smoke and a huge dust cloud floating toward them. “Oh my God. I think it’s a bomb.”

..

The phones were ringing off the hook at BPD headquarters. Rizzoli, Frost and the other detectives in the Homicide Unit were standing, noses pressed against the windows, trying to see what the huge boom was.

“Shit!” Frost exclaimed. “I think it’s a goddamn bomb!”

Jane clapped her hand to her mouth. “Oh my God! Everyone, get down there now! We’ve got to see what we can do to help!”

All other cases were dropped and the bullpen was empty within moments. Jane went back to her office and grabbed her leg braces. They were fairly uncomfortable, but the last thing she needed was to have to carry a cane, so she strapped them on and headed out the door.

By the time she’d reached the street, people were running, shell-shocked and emotional, away from the billowing smoke. The cloud was dark grey against the blue background of the sky and visibility was almost zero in that area. Still, fire trucks, ambulances and police cars were headed into the fray. All around her, papers and other light debris carried by the wind, were raining down. Jane ducked into her car and started the engine and with a quick U-turn, she was on her way toward what appeared to be a huge mess.

..

Frost was standing, shocked, on the sidewalk, outside the scene of the explosion. The bomb had gone off inside a department store and paramedics, police officers and firefighters, were carrying people out on stretchers and, in some cases, over strong shoulders. Some of the injuries were horrific and the detective started to feel queasy. “Oh no you don’t” he muttered to his stomach and swallowed as a screaming woman was carried out in the arms of a dust and muck covered BPD patrolman. Where she’d once had legs, she now only had bloody stumps of ragged flesh and she mercifully lost consciousness just as they passed Frost.

The detective took a moment to survey the situation and then took out his cell phone. Unsurprisingly, the signal was non-existent but he put his phone away as he saw Rizzoli approaching him. It was loud, smoky and debris was still falling in the vicinity of the entrance to the building.

“Who’s in charge, Frost?” Jane yelled over the sirens and screaming.

“I don’t know,” he yelled back. “I just arrived and it’s chaos here.” He shielded his eyes as she looked around. “There,” he pointed. “The Fire Chief is over there.”

Rizzoli nodded. “C’mon. We’ve got to speak to him and see what we can help with.”

..

“Honey, I have to!” Maura insisted. “Go back to the hotel, ok?”

“No!” Camille replied, just as stubbornly. “You can’t go, Mom! What if you get hurt? What if there’s another bomb?”

The blonde woman stopped. “Sweetheart, listen to me,” she said seriously as she gently grasped her daughter’s upper arms and looked her in the eye. “I’m a doctor. I can’t just ignore this. The probability is high that my being there will save some lives. I have to go.”

Camille was about to object again but the passion in her mother’s eyes made her stop. “Ok, Mom, but PLEASE be careful, ok?”

Maura hugged her daughter tightly. “Listen to me,” she said. “I love you, Camille, and I’m going to try to stay as safe as possible but if anything happens to me, you find Jane Rizzoli and you tell her who you are. Get her to call your Dad, ok?”

“Ok, Mom,” the younger blonde replied shakily. “I will.”

One more hug. “Good. Now go back to the hotel. I’ll call you just as soon as I can.”

And with a quick look back, Maura took off, running toward the source of the smoke. It only took her a couple of minutes to arrive and she immediately took in the scene, her expert eyes already triaging patients.

She ran to the nearest ambulance and threw herself into it. “I’m a doctor,” she yelled at the paramedic, her voice barely carrying over the noise outside. “What can I do?”

The man turned frightened eyes on her. “Just…” He shuddered. “There are so many,” he yelled back. “Grab what supplies you can and just do what you can.”

With a nod, Maura grabbed a first aid kit and stethoscope out of one of the ambulance’s compartments and jumped back out again. It was chaos all around while the responders worked on evacuating everyone from the half-destroyed building.

The doctor spotted a man lying on the ground, moaning and clutching his hand, and ran to him. He had some fingers missing so she got to work on wrapping the hand tightly to try to stop the flow of blood. She looked around to see if she could find the missing digits but there were no sign of them so she helped him up and half-carried him to the nearest ambulance.

Maura worked for hours, moving from patient to patient just doing whatever she could. The smoke cloud was beginning to thin out too and, she realized, visibility had greatly improved. She rubbed her sore eyes, looking around for a possible source of water to cool her face and drink. She knew she was covered in soot and her clothes were only fit for the trash but she was so tired that she couldn’t have cared less at that moment. Then she spotted a store with a “WATER HERE” sign in the window and made her way toward it to join the line.

..

“I think things are starting to finally get under control,” Lieutenant Rizzoli stated from her spot next to the Fire Chief. It had been a frustrating day for the tall detective. Her spirit and drive wanted her to be with her men, helping to carry victims out, but her disability forced her to play an administrative role. She’d been coordinating BPD movement to compliment the fire and ambulance service and to help carry patients to hospitals and trauma centers when there were just no more ambulances.

Frost appeared and moved next to her with a groan. He had long since lost his jacket and tie, his shirt sleeves were rolled up and he was covered liberally in soot, ash and dust. It was caked to his dark skin and when he wiped his hand across his forehead, the dirt just streaked even further.

“Son of a bitch,” he muttered. “You heard anything about anyone taking responsibility, Sir?”

“No,” Jane replied angrily. “But I’ve heard the military are on high alert. They’re treating it as a terrorist attack until they find it’s otherwise.”

Frost nodded. “They won’t be long finding out. I bet they’re combing the camera footage of the location as we speak.”

The lieutenant nodded tiredly. “Yeah, the Feds are already here and I’m thinking we’ll see some other three-letter-agencies show up too.” She coughed and scratched her neck. “I need some water.”

Frost pointed at a store a few doors down on the opposite side of the street. “There.” They headed for it, the younger detective mindful of his boss’s slower gait.

Joining the end of the line, they waited a few moments for their turn, patiently dealing with disoriented and injured people who shuffled around them. One man in particular was staggering and Jane stepped back to avoid him, only managing to bump right into someone who was exiting the store. She immediately spun around, instinctively reaching out to steady the bumpee. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean…”

Lieutenant Jane Rizzoli froze as she met hazel eyes and a face as familiar to her as her own but she didn’t release her grip on the other woman. Indeed the grip was returned and the two women, light and dark stared at each other for a long moment. Frost was speechless and just waited for some kind of reaction.

“Maura,” Jane whispered.

“Jane,” Maura replied just as softly.

“Oh my God,” they murmured together.

And then they were hugging each other tightly, desperately, right there in the middle of the bomb-torn street, surrounded by hundreds of people.

But they were suddenly completely alone.

..


	7. Chapter 7

Note: Sorry this has taken so long. This has been the most difficult chapter to write so far and I've written and re-written and I'm still not completely happy. But there you go! It's also a little shorter than normal. I just said I'd post it and move on!

7

Jane felt like pinching herself to see if she was dreaming but she didn’t, because that would have meant having to let go of Maura. Every part of her wanted to hold on as tightly as possible and her whole body was humming with the energy passing between them.

She felt the doctor shudder and just held her closer, moving her hand to cradle her head and stroke her hair. It felt so completely right that Jane just wanted to cry but she reluctantly eased back to examine the smiling face of her old friend.

“So,” she said softly.

Maura grinned wider and cleared her throat. “So.”

The lieutenant laughed a little. “I’m not sure what to say,” she said, scratching her cheek. “But you look wonderful, Maura.”

“Oh yeah, exhausted, sweaty and covered in grime. I bet I’m a complete sight, Jane!” Maura replied wryly as she tried to order her hair but she quickly gave up and shrugged. “It’s been a long day.”

“Were you treating patients all day? Wait...” Jane shook her head, confused. “Maura, what are you doing in Boston? I thought you were living in Los Angeles now?”

“Would you believe me if I told you I was on a girl’s long weekend?” the doctor replied with raised eyebrows.

“Uh... well... I think I’d believe you more if you told me you were attending a forensic somethingy conference… but I guess,” the lieutenant replied. “But who are the girls?”

Maura’s stomach clenched. “It’s me and... and... my daughter, Camille.” Suddenly, the doctor realised they weren’t alone and she smiled at Frost. “I’m sorry. It’s really good to see you, Barry.” The detective hugged her and then excused himself as he saw something that he suddenly had to do.

“Camille Thomas,” Jane replied. “That’s a pretty name.”

“Camille Jane Isles, actually” Maura replied. “But she goes by Cam.”

For a long moment, the taller woman was speechless and Maura smiled. “Yes, I named her after you, Jane. Jim and I never got married. In fact, we split up a year after Cam was born and went our separate ways. He was in her life a lot but... he and I just didn’t work.”

“Wow,” Jane murmured, her eyes on the ground. Then she straightened a little. “I’m sorry, would you mind if we sit down? I’m a little unsteady on my feet these days.”

“Of course,” Maura replied. “And Jane?”

“Yes?” They walked toward a soot covered bench and sat down. The blonde placed her hand on her friend’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry about Frankie. I was reading about you last night and the article said you’d both been shot.”

“Eeeyeeaaahhh,” Jane replied, unable to meet her friend’s eyes. “Thanks. That really sucked. Especially for Mom. It tore her apart.”

“How is she?” Maura asked gently.

“She died a couple of years ago of cancer. She and Sean Cavanaugh got married shortly after you and I... um... lost touch... and she died quite suddenly. We only had a few weeks...” The lieutenant sucked in a breath.

“Oh Jane, I’m so sorry.” Maura was upset. “I’m so sorry for everything,” she blurted. “For not being here for you, for being so awful and hateful to you.” She burst into tears, covering her mouth with her hand and shaking her head.

“Maura, hey,” Jane pulled her into a hug. “There was fault on both sides. I said some really nasty things too and then ran away instead of facing what happened. I ran off to Australia, thinking that it would solve everything.”

The doctor nodded, wiping her tears on her sleeve. “Jane, I’d really like to talk seriously about this. I was so stupid to push you away that day after I...”

“Kissed me?” the lieutenant supplied with hiked eyebrows.

“Yes. But I’d really like to talk about this somewhere quiet over a bottle of wine.” Maura’s face was hopeful. Jane couldn’t turn her down and quite frankly didn’t want to, despite the nerves clawing at her chest.

“Tonight?”

“Tonight.” Maura confirmed. “At my hotel? I’d love for you to meet my daughter, if, if... that’s ok?”

Jane’s face lit up, making her seem much younger, not that she’d aged a whole lot since they’d last seen each other. She was still beautiful and Maura wanted to reach out and touch that soft skin and taste those velvet lips.

“I’d love to, Maura. Where are you staying?”

“The Four Seasons. How about 8pm?”

Jane smiled. “I’ll be there.” She got up and took a couple of steps. Her leg braces were bothering her and she was sweating. Maura got up too.

“Jane, can I ask? What’s the condition of your back?”

“Bullet fragments,” the lieutenant replied succinctly. “They injected a gel bubble around them but it still causes me issues.”

“Did they try lumbar-magnetism therapy?” Maura probed the area with gentle fingers. Jane swallowed.

“Um... too risky,” she replied hoarsely. Oh my God, her touch still makes me... “They couldn’t really predict the angle of movement.”

“Mmmm…” the doctor replied thoughtfully. “Anyway, I’d better get going. I need to call my daughter and let her know that I’m ok and coming back to the hotel.

Jane smiled. “I’ll see you tonight.” She turned to walk away but suddenly paused. “Maura, when are you going back to L.A.?”

“Tomorrow evening,” came the quiet reply. “We have a lot to talk about, Jane.”

“Yes, we do.” Brown and hazel eyes met and held. “Tonight.”

..

When Maura had disappeared from view, Jane stumbled back to the bench and sat down heavily. Her hands, legs, hell, her whole body was shaking with emotion, nerves and happiness. It was a lot to absorb in one day, on top of the bomb that had, Jane guiltily realised, faded in importance to her.

She was going to see Maura again. And she was going to meet Camille. Wow. A hand on her shoulder made her jump and Frost chuckled.

“How are you holding up?” he asked, sitting next to her and patting her knee.

“I’m a little overwhelmed actually,” the lieutenant replied with a little laugh. “Wow, she looks so great.”

“Yes, she does,” Frost replied with a nod. “Jane, are you ok with this?”

The tall woman thought about that for a moment, her eyes roaming over the rubble that used to be part of a building.

“Yeah,” she finally replied. “I’m ok with seeing her again. In fact, I’m very much more with ok. I’ve missed her.”

“That much has been painfully obvious for a long time,” Barry replied quietly. “I wasn’t sure you were going to ever get over her.”

The lieutenant stood again and patted his shoulder. “Today has just proven to me that I really haven’t.” She turned and walked to her car. It was almost six and she had to get home and showered. She suddenly laughed hysterically. “On my God! I’m having dinner with Maura and her sixteen year old daughter!”

..

“Hi, Honey.” Maura switched her phone to her other ear away from the noise of the traffic around her. “You doing ok?”

“Hey, Mom,” came Cam’s reply. “Are you ok?”

“Well…” Maura laughed helplessly. “I’m not quite sure how to answer that.”

“Why? What do you mean? You’re not hurt are you?”

“Nono, nothing like that. I just…” The doctor took a breath. “Remember you advised me to just call Jane Rizzoli and talk to her?”

“Yes,” Cam replied.

“Well, you wouldn’t believe who I just bumped into at the bomb scene. And thinking about it, of course, I don’t know why I didn’t think of the fact that she’d be there.”

“You’re kidding!!!” Her daughter’s excitement made Maura laugh again.

“No, I’m not kidding. And she’s coming to the hotel for dinner tonight and to talk.”

“Oh my God! Mom! That’s great news! Do you want me to make myself scarce?”

“No, well, I’d like you to meet her and have dinner with us and maybe make yourself scarce afterwards so Jane and I can talk.”

Cam laughed again. “I am all over that! I have money. I’ll find something to do. Anyway, are you coming back now?”

Maura nodded. “Yeah, I’m on my way back now. I’ll be there in about fifteen minutes.”

“See you then.”

“Bye, Honey.”

The doctor hung up and slipped her phone into her back pocket. There was a bounce in her step that had been missing for a while. Maura was very excited and nervous at the same time. But she couldn’t wait to see Jane again.

..

Jane twirled her dark hair around her finger as she gazed at her open wardrobe. She was dressed in her best black , lace underwear and had just finished drying her hair and applying a small amount of makeup and lipstick. The woman looking back at her from the mirror was as tall and thin and toned as ever, but Lieutenant Rizzoli now had some scars marring her skin that told stories of her life as a cop. She ran her fingers over the scar she got when she’d shot herself to save Frankie’s life when he was a beat cop and the scars on the opposite side of her body from the day her little brother had died.

But the scars that she hated the most were the ones in the palms of her hands, the ones Charles Hoyt had given her many years previously. But she and Maura had beaten him and she took comfort from that.

“So, what the hell should I wear?” Jane took out a little black dress and examined it. “Too vixen.” Then she pulled out a pair of jeans and a shirt. “Not Four Seasons enough,” she muttered as she put them back. “Ahhh…” Jane chose her outfit and quickly dressed, conscious of the time. She gathered her belongings and stepped into low heels that she could manage with her walking stick.

Jane’s hands were trembling as she topped up her lipstick at the mirror next to the door. “Not bad for an old gal,” she muttered. Then she took a deep breath to settle herself and headed out the door.

..


	8. Chapter 8

Doctor Maura Isles stepped out of the shower and tossed her wet hair back as she grabbed a towel and started to dry off.

“What’s she like?” Cam called through the slightly-open door. “Is she nice?”

“She’s great,” Maura replied, smiling. “She’s sweet and kind and very funny in a completely sarcastic kind of way. She’s a very good person.”

“You still love her,” the younger woman replied, leaning against the doorframe.

The doctor paused in towel drying her hair and sighed. “Yes, I… I love her very much, Cam.”

“Then she must be an exceptional person, because you are, Mom.”

There was silence for a moment, then the bathroom door opened and a tearful Maura pulled her daughter into her arms for a hug. “Thank you for supporting me and understanding,” she whispered. “I love you so much, Camille.”

“Jeez, mushy much?” the teenager teased, returning the hug with as much gusto as her mother’s. “Mom, I really just want you to be happy. Now, go finish getting ready. It’s seven thirty and she’ll be here soon.”

Twenty minutes later, with hair blow dried and makeup on, Maura stood in front of her closet. She had minimal choices but she chose a pair of black slacks and an emerald green, silk blouse with a pair of black heels. She added some jewellery and then stepped out into the living room, where her daughter was waiting. “How do I look?” she asked, nervously fingering her necklace.

“Delicious,” Cam replied seriously. “You look hot, Mom.”

The doctor laughed and shook her head. “You’re funny, Kid. You and Jane are going to get along great.”

Camille nodded. “I know we will.”

A knock at the door startled them both and they laughed. “Here we go,” Maura grinned and headed for the door. It was time.

..

Jane sat outside the hotel in her car for a while, allowing herself a moment to think about Maura. What a mess they had made of eveything and their pride had prevented them from repairing their relationship. By the time Jane had gotten back from Sydney, it had been too late and Maura had already moved to Los Angeles. For months, the dark woman had thought about contacting her friend but months had turned into years and years into almost two decades…

But now. Jane grinned to herself. Here she was about to have dinner with the woman who’d been the most important person in her life and she really hoped it could be that way again.

At seven fifty-five, Jane got out of the car and entered the hotel, leaning on her walking stick as she moved across the polished floor of the lobby. She found the elevators and got into the first available one, juggling a bouquet of flowers in her arms as she pushed the button for the floor Maura had given her.

The floor of the corridor was covered in plush carpet and, she whistled softly as she walked. “This place is niiiice.” It only took a few moment for her to reach Maura’s room and she stood for a moment, taking a breath to settle herself. She moved the flowers and her walking stick to her left hand and raised her right hand to knock. It was time.

..

Maura paused a moment to settle herself and then she opened the door. Her eyes widened and she swallowed at the vision before her. Jane was dressed in a knee length, navy skirt and white sheer blouse with a camisole underneath. Her hair, a little shorter than she’d worn it years earlier, was free and settled in curls around her face. “Um… Jane… you look… um… Hi… gorgeous… come in.”

The Lieutenant chuckled and stepped into the room. “You look… Hi gorgeous… yourself,” she replied with a big smile. Then she stepped closer and hugged the doctor tightly, rocking them slightly and stroking her hair. “God, I’ve missed you,” she whispered.

Maura returned the embrace, exhaling as she tried to steady her heartrate. “I’ve missed you too, Jane, a lot… so much more than a lot.”

Cam stepped forward and cleared her throat gently. “Hi, I’m Camille,” she said smiling. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

The two women separated and Maura put her arm around her daugher’s shoulders. Cam could feel the trembling of her mother’s body and gently rubbed her back. “Jane, this is my daughter, Camille.”

“I already said that,” Cam giggled as she held out a hand for the lieutenant to shake.

Jane looked at the hand, then smiled. “Would it be ok if I hugged you instead?” she asked, then got the wind almost knocked out of her as the teenager grabbed her and squeezed her hard.

Maura nodded, sucking in a breath. “Studies show that eighty-seven percent of teenagers prefer hugging over any other form of greeting, while the others have an irrational fear of being touched by strangers. It seems to be one extreme or another…” She paused and waited.

Cam looked at Jane. Jane looked at Cam. “Nerves,” they both stated at the same time, making the three of them laugh. Suddenly all the tension in the room floated away and Maura took the lieutenant’s hand, leading her to the couch to sit down.

“Drink?” she asked, her eyebrow raised.

“Yes, regularly,” Jane replied, seriously but with a wink at Cam.

Cam giggled and moved closer to the couch, flipping her blonde hair back over her shoulders. “You were right, Mom, she’s funny.”

The doctor rolled her eyes playfully. “She THINKS she is. Don’t give her a bigger head. I was going to offer you wine, Jane, but I would guess that you still prefer beer.”

“I’m a wine expert, actually,” the lieutenant replied. “An expert at staying away from the stuff! And yes please, Maura, I’d love a beer.”

Jane traded her walking stick for a bottle and took a long swallow as Cam stood the aid against a nearby wall. “What happened?” she asked. “Why do you need the stick?”

“Got shot,” came the matter-of-fact answer. “My brother and I both did. I got lucky, he didn’t.”

Maura shook her head. “Poor Frankie. I loved him like he was my own brother. I still do.”

“He was my best friend…” Jane murmured. “After… we weren’t friends anymore.”

Cam sighed and sat down. “You two really screwed things up,” she stated firmly.

The older women looked at each other. “We did,” Maura replied. “I did.”

“I more than helped,” Jane added with a shake of her head. “Maura, I’m so sorry for the way I reacted when…” she paused and glanced at Cam.

“She knows.” The doctor sat on the couch next to her friend. “I wanted her to know about us… and her father. She deserved to know.”

The lieutenant nodded. “She does. Maura, that night, after you kissed me, I wasn’t trying to push you away. I wasn’t trying to tell you that I didn’t want you. I just didn’t want anyting to happen between us when you were drunk. It felt like I’d be taking advantage of you. After you left, I tried to go after you but I couldn’t catch you. Then we weren’t talking… and we had that big fight…”

Maura nodded. “I was embarassed and hurt, Jane, because I thought you were rejecting me. I couldn’t handle it. It was easier to just shut you out and get on with my relationship with Jim. But it wasn’t real, Jane. I couldn’t have ever loved him.”

“You two REALLY screwed up,” Cam said again, shaking her head.

“We know!” Jane and Maura replied together, glaring at her.

“Ok, you know what?” The teenager got up and grabbed her bag. “I’d kinda thought that this talk would happen AFTER dinner but, you guys, I’m starving. Can we eat now?”

Jane swallowed the last of her beer and got up. “Sure, kiddo, I’m hungry myself… now that I’m not completely numb with terror. C’mon, Maura, we’ve got a LOT of catching up to do!”

**

“Wow,” Cam murmured. “This is a LARGE menu!”

“The food was always good here,” Maura replied, as she looked around the inside of The Dirty Robber. It hadn’t changed much in seventeen years. “I’m glad we decided not to eat at the hotel. Between us, it’s a little stuffy.”

“Stuffy, says the woman who went all over town looking for pigs feet for her mother’s visit,” Jane teased with a laugh. “Jeez, Maura.”

“Grandma likes pigs feet?” Cam asked her mother, confused.

“Grandma Constance,” the doctor clarified. “She likes a particular dish.”

“How is she, by the way?” the lieutenant asked as she bit the cherry from her cocktail neatly in half.

“Holding up,” Maura replied. “She had a stroke a couple of years ago but she’s doing ok.”

“And Hope?” Jane asked gently. “And Cailin?”

“They’re good. Cailin is married with a couple of kids of her own now. Hope’s organization is still going strong.”

Jane smiled. “Cailin’s wish came true,” she murmured.

The server approached their table and they all gave their order after deciding on a mixed platter appetiser. They also got another round of drinks in.

“So Cam,” Jane began. “You know the story of your Mom and I. She’s really lucky that you support her.”

“Oh supporting her is easy,” the teenager replied. “I’m gay too so I kinda get it.”

Maura shrugged. “Hereditary. I found out yesterday.”

“I see.” The lieutenant replied. “You know, there’s one thing I have to say. Maura, before you, I’d never been attracted to women.”

“I know,” the doctor replied. “I was there for Gabriel… and Casey… ”

“And I haven’t since,” Jane added after the server set down their platter and went away. “There’s been no one serious…” She looked down.

“For me neither,” Maura agreed.

“Do YOU have a girlfriend?” the liutenant asked Cam with a wink.

“Yes,” the teenager replied. “Her name is Shane. She’s seventeen. We’ve been dating a few weeks.”

“Cool,” Jane grinned. “How do you feel about that, Mom?”

Maura sighed. “Kinda old actually,” she replied with a tilt of her head that Jane still found adorable. “My baby is dating.”

Cam shook her head. “Your baby ain’t a baby no more,” she replied with a sigh.

Their food arrived and Maura picked up her burger with delight. “God, I haven’t had a burger like ths in a while,” she stated. She took a big bite, humming with pleasure as she slowly chewed and swallowed, her eyes tightly closed.

Cam elbowed the lieutenant. “Catching flies,” she whispered and Jane’s mouth closed with an audible click as her cheeks flushed. She quickly started on her own meal and for a few moments, there was quiet.

“Maura,” the lieutenant finally began. “You’re leaving tomorrow and… there are a lot of things I need to say to you. I’m not sure I can say them all in one evening.”

The doctor placed her burger back on her plate and wiped her mouth and fingers on her napkin. “I was thinking the same thing. What if Cam and I stayed a few more days?”

The teenager nodded emphatically. “GREAT idea, Mom,” she said, excitedy. “That would be awesome!”

“Yeah,” Jane smiled happily. “Great idea.” She covered Maura’s hand, rubbing her thumb gently over the soft skin. “Why don’t you guys check out of the hotel as normal in the morning and come stay with me for a few days. I have a spare room if you don’t mind sharing.”

“Still got your condo?” Maura asked.

“Yes, I’ve done some work to it over the years but you’ll remember it,” the lieutenant replied.

“We’d love to,” the doctor nodded, turning her hand over underneath Jane’s and squeezing her fingers. “Thank you.”

Jane smiled, her eyes meeting her friend’s, and that spark that she’d felt all those years ago made her heart skip. Judging by the smile returned, Maura was feeling the same way.

It was a perfect moment.

“Mom, can I have dessert?”

Jane’s smile grew wider. Yep. Perfect.

**


	9. Old Times, Anew Chapter 9

Author’s Note: SURPRISE! Yes, I’ve come back to this story. I was in a bad writer’s block place for a while but I’m writing again. Enjoy!

9

_“But Honey, I just don’t understand what happened between you two. I thought you were so completely solid. I used to envy you both, your friendship was so amazing.”_

_Jane was sitting on the couch in her pajamas, slouched down with her arms folded. “Ma, it was a long flight from Sydney and I’m tired. Can we please not do this now?” She scowled. “In fact, can we please not do this EVER?!”_

_“Jane Clementine Rizzoli! You do not dismiss your mother like that! I’m trying to understand and help you!” Angela Rizzoli wagged a finger at her daugher, who nodded and sighed like a scolded puppy._

_“Sorry, Ma. I’m just… I spent a year trying to get her out of my damn system! And I come back and it’s like I never left!”_

_“Out of your system?” Angela sat next to her, placing a gentle hand on her knee and rubbing lightly. “Are you saying.. Janie… that you and Maura… broke up?”_

_The detective sighed again and scratched her cheek, pushing her hair back behind her ears. “You can’t break up from something that never started,” she murmured._

_“Are you in love with her?” The older woman waited as a gamut of emotions crossed Jane’s face. She guessed that her daughter hadn’t been prepared for that question._

_“Yeeeaaahhhh… that’s complicated,” the detective replied. She got up and went to the refridgerator, returning a moment later with two bottles of water and some strawberries. Then she took a breath and spent the following hour telling Angela everything that had happened, from the night Maura had kissed her, all the way to the present, when she’d come back from Australia to find out that the doctor had moved across the country to the east coast. “I hadn’t intended on staying in Australia for so long, to be honest,” she concluded. “But it’s absolutely fantastic and I really loved it over there.”_

_“Wow,” Angela murmured. “I had no idea. I thought this was just another argument you two had that got out of control. You poor things. It must have been so hard for both of you. Maura just wasn’t the same after you left.”_

_“Neither was I,” Jane replied, shaking her head. “It’s like I’ve lost a part of me.”_

Lieutenant Rizzoli set the photograph of her mother back, gently, into its spot on her desk. “I miss you, Ma. I wish you could be here to see Maura and I talking again,” she said, softly.

..

Cam slipped her last piece of clothing into her bag and zipped it shut. “She’s really hot and she must be six feet tall.”

“Not quite but almost,” Maura replied with a smile. “Seems like you like her.”

“I do, very much. She’s fun.” The teenager picked her bag up and slung it over her shoulder. “Ready to go?”

Maura smiled and moved to her daughter. She gently grasped her chin and kissed her forehead. “Tell me…” she smiled. “When did you grow up and how did I miss it?”

“You didn’t miss it, Mom,” Cam replied. “You were right there for it but you’re the best Mom in the world and just let it happen.”

The doctor grabbed her suitcase and grinned. “Let’s get going, Kid.”

..

It was late. Cam had long since gone to bed, leaving her mother sitting in the living room on the couch with her friend. It really amazed Maura how easily she and Jane had fallen back into their old routine. They’d spent the evening telling Cam stories about cases they’d worked on, people they’d worked with and the best and worst of times in their lives.

Jane had started to cry when she talked about her brother, Frankie, and what had happened to him. It felt natural for Maura to hug her and not let go for the longest time. The teenager had taken that as her cue to leave them alone.

“She’s a great kid,” Jane murmured softly as she circled her thumb around the mouth of her beer bottle. She had a cushion tucked into the crook of her arm and it took Maura back many years to the many nights they’d spent tucked up together. It wasn’t the same sofa. In fact, Jane’s condo looked nothing like the doctor remembered.

“Thanks.” The blonde sighed. “I wish you’d seen her as a baby.”

“Me too,” Jane ran her hand through her hair and tucked it behind her ears. “I’m so so sorry, Maura.”

The doctor nodded. “We were both at fault. We were both scared and confused. And now we both have regrets.”

“I would have had even more regrets if I’d let you go back to California without spending time with you.”

“But I do have to go back,” the doctor replied softly. “I have responsibilities…”

“I know,” the Lieutenant nodded. “But every moment is precious. I learned that the hard way. I just don’t want to waste a single moment with you. I just got you back.”

Maura smiled and cupped her friend’s cheeks in trembling hands. “Jane…” she said, looking into dark eyes. “I’m not going to waste any more time. I’ve never loved anyone else the way I love you.” Jane blinked and her bottom lip started to quiver. Maura sucked in a breath. “Was that… too much? Am I moving too fast?”

And then eager lips were crushing against hers and loving fingers were running through her hair, guiding her closer. The kiss went on and on as two decades of love and longing emerged and only ended when they were both crying. “I love you too, Maura. In case you didn’t get that.”

They both laughed then and Maura moved into the lieutenant’s arms, snuggling against her and closing her eyes at the familiar scent of perfume, shampoo and Jane.

And that was how Cam found them the next morning. Deeply asleep and clinging to each other. “Oh c’mon,” she whispered. “You didn’t even get her into bed, Mom?” But she smiled as she leaned against the door. “Guess I’ll go get us breakfast.” The young blonde slipped out the door and headed for the bagel shop nearby.

..

“Thanks for taking some time off,” Maura said as she strolled hand in hand with her taller friend.

“I have no desire whatsoever to work at the moment. The station will take care of itself for a few days. Besides, I left Frost in charge. I’m grooming him to take over when I retire.” Jane rubbed her thumb over Maura’s knuckles. She almost couldn’t believe that the blonde doctor was here with her.

Maura chuckled. “Retire. That’s a word I NEVER thought I’d hear out of your mouth.” She squeezed Jane’s hand gently. “Have you been thinking about it?”

“Yeah… for a while now.” The dark woman tapped her cane on the ground a little. “Things are getting… stiff. I’m not far away from sixty-five, Maura, and I’ve had more injuries over the years than I care to admit. Had the brains rattled a few times. My hearing is decreased on my left side and my hands and hip ache like a mother when it’s cold… I dunno. I’m just starting to feel old.”

Maura’s free hand tucked into the crook of Jane’s arm and she leaned against her slightly, mindful of her weak hip. “I call it maturity. Jane you barely have any grey. Besides, you’re most definitely a MILF.”

That made the lieutenant burst into laughter. “Maura!” she exclaimed.

“Or maybe that should be a DILF, since you don’t have any children.”

“DILF?”

“Detective… I’d love… to fuck,” the doctor replied, locking eyes with her friend and making her swallow.

“Ummm… I… ummm… home?”

“Home,” Maura agreed.

..

“Jesus…” Jane groaned, trembling as Maura moved back up her body to rest against her. They were both damp with sweat and the sheets were a tangled mess at the bottom of the bed. The lieutenant gently kissed her lover’s lips and ran her fingers through her hair. “Maura… that was…”

“Overdue,” the doctor replied with a chuckle and Jane laughed as she hugged the smaller woman as close as she could. “God, I love you, Jane.”

“I love you too, Maura.” She ran her hands over goose bumped flesh and then pulled the sheets back up to cover them. “You know, I’ve been thinking. You’ll be leaving in a few days and, frankly, I have no clue what I’d do without you again so…”

“I already booked you a plane ticket.” Maura beamed that grin of hers that made Jane melt like butter. “You’re not mad are you?”

The lieutenant just hugged her closer and rolled them over so she could pepper kisses all over the doctor’s face. “I couldn’t be happier.”

Just then a voice sounded from outside the closed door. “I guess I have a room to myself now. Eh?!”

Jane threw a shoe at the door. “Not if you don’t survive til bed time, Kid!”

Maura just laughed as Cam scuttled away with a yelp.

..

“So... you’re ok with this?” Maura asked, as she gently stroked her daughter’s hair.

“Ok with it? Mom, I couldn’t be happier. Jane is so awesome.” Cam bounced excitedly in her seat. “How long is she coming for?”

“Well,” the doctor shrugged slightly. “She’ll come back with us for a couple of weeks. Then she’ll have to come back here and wrap stuff up.”

“What about her condo?”

“I’m renting it out,” Jane interjected as she entered the living room. She was towelling her thick hair after having had a nice hot shower. Her muscles were aching from her bed sports with Maura. Those muscles hadn’t been used in a while.

Cam nodded and then her face turned serious. “You guys, I’m so completely delighted for you… but you’re not moving too fast, are you?”

“Honey,” Jane replied. “When your get to our age, nothing moves too fast except time! We ain’t no spring chickens no more!”

“I know,” the girl replied. “I just want to be sure that you’re not rushing into something you might regret later.”

“Baby girl,” Maura assured, looking her daughter right in the eyes. “The only thing I regret is not doing this years ago.”

“It’s settled then!” Cam hugged Jane and Maura in turn. “I’m thrilled. Hey Jane, do you like the ocean?”

“I love the ocean,” the detective replied with a happy smiled.

“Cool. Our house is right on the beach. Do you like to go surfing?”

Jane laughed and ruffled the girl’s hair. “Kid, I haven’t even owned a bathing suit in fifteen years!”

Maura wrapped an arm around her lover’s waist. “We’re going to have to rectify that as soon as possible.”

“We’ll see,” the lieutenant sighed. “I’m not exactly pin up material anymore, Maura.”

“Are you kidding?!” the doctor and her daughter said at the same time.

Cam held up her hands in mock surrender when her mother scowled at her. “Sorry, sorry. But hell, she IS gorgeous. Ok, I need to call Shane.”

Jane smiled as Cam scuttled into her bedroom. “She’s a fantastic kid, Maura. She’s a credit to you. What does she want to do after school?”

The blonde smiled and took a seat on the couch next to her lover. “She has no clue and I love that. I never understand parents who expect their child to have their life’s plan mapped out at age 16. Cam will be going back to high school as a senior this year. She’ll have plenty of time to think about what she wants. Maybe she should take a year and just travel before college? I don’t know. I just truly want her to be happy.”

The lieutenant grinned. “You’re such a cool Mom. I always knew you’d be great but you’ve surpassed even my expectations.”

“I learned from my parents’ mistakes. I gave her attention and cooked for her and attended her school recitals and events. I sewed Halloween costumes and took her trick-or-treating. I gave her the childhood that I would have wished for,” Maura murmured.

Jane leaned closer and kissed Maura, stroking her cheek with gentle fingers. “I love you. I wish Cam could have been ours.”

And with a chuckle, the doctor winked. “She’s completely fallen for your charms just like I did. She’s already yours.”

Maura sat forward, reaching for the phone. “Chinese?”

Jane’s eyes twinkled. “You read my mind.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a turn I was't expecting. Jane has some emotional issues raised by Maura that she needs to deal with so we'll join her one the next couple of chapters.

“Jeez, Kid, you weren’t kidding about your house being right on the beach!” Jane reached the bottom of the steps with Cam’s help and stepped out into the sand. Her sun dress immediately began to flutter in the warm wind. The lieutenant felt odd. Not really unwell but not herself and she reached out a hand to grasp the young woman’s shoulder to steady herself.

Maura trotted down the steps and joined them with a big smile but her face sobered when she saw how pale Jane was. “Jane, are you feeling ok?” she asked.

“I’m a little light-headed. That’s all,” the tall woman replied with a reassuring pat to the doctor’s cheek. “Too much excitement for one day.” She held out her hand. “Take a walk with me?”

Cam kept glancing back toward the house and Maura laughed as she linked her fingers with Jane’s. “Go! I know you want to see Shane.”

“Thanks, Mom,” the younger blonde replied as she turned to take off. She stopped then and tilted her head. “Can I bring Shane by for dinner soon? I’d like you to meet her.”

The doctor’s smile gentled. “I’d love that, Camille. Bring her by whenever you’re ready.”

“Thanks, Mom!”

Jane pulled on Maura’s hand and they started a slow pace along the soft sand. “You know, I almost can’t believe I’m here,” the taller woman began. “Only a few days ago, I thought I’d never see you again. It’s all a bit surreal.”

“It is,” Maura replied. “You don’t have any regrets, do you?”

Jane stopped suddenly and wrapped her arms around the doctor, kissing her temple. “I have so many regrets in my life, Maura. THIS is not one of them. In fact,” she went on as they resumed their walk. “This might just help to fix some of the other ones.”

“But you’re not just doing this to assuage both of our guilt, are you?” Maura’s face was tense as she waited for the reply.

“Still overthinking things, Maura,” Jane chuckled. “This is very simple. I love you. I don’t want to be without you for a single moment more of my life. Does that answer your question?” She watched as the tension drained from the doctor’s face. “Or do you have anymore?”

Maura sighed. “I have a million questions,” she replied. “I missed so many years of your life and I want to know everything.”

“Me too,” Jane agreed. “But we have plenty of time, Maura. We’re a couple of old gals who are pretty set in their ways. We do need to go easy on each other.”

“Old?” the blonde replied teasingly. “Speak for yourself. But I do know what you mean.” She paused though as Jane gasped and stopped walking, bending over slightly at the waist. “Jane, you’re not ok. What’s happening?”

“It’s nothing, Maura. Just an old injury I have to deal with now and again. Nothing new.”

“Let’s go back and let you rest. I’d like to examine you, Jane, if that’s ok with you?”

“Ok, Doc,” the tall woman teased. She let Maura guide her back to the house and help her up the steps to the main garden and pool area. When they reached the house, the doctor opened the sliding door and stepped inside to find Cam sitting in an armchair with another girl sitting in her lap. They were kissing and hadn’t noticed the new arrivals. Maura cleared her throat loudly as Jane snickered. “Hi. I’m Cam’s mom.”

Shane jumped off Cam’s lap so quickly that she almost fell on the floor but the blonde grabbed her just in time and straightened her. “Um… hi… Doctor Isles. I’m… I’m…”

“Dead meat?” Jane murmured.

Maura stifled a smile. “I think your name is Shane,” she helped gently.

“YES! Yes, I’m Shane.” The dark haired girl stuck out her hand. “It’s really nice to meet you, Doctor Isles.”

The older blonde shook her hand and nodded. “You too. This…” she indicated her tall partner. “Is Lieutenant Detective Jane Rizzoli.”

Shane offered another handshake which the dark woman accepted. “It’s just Jane,” she said with a grin. “So, meeting the parent. That’s scary, eh?”

“No!” Shane shook her head hard and after a minute nodded. “Yes. I’ve heard so much about you both, I didn’t want to disappoint you. I’m sorry. Cam and I weren’t expecting you back quite so soon.”

Maura laughed. “Obviously. Anyway, it’s lovely to meet you, Shane. Cam, I’m taking Jane to lie down. She’s not feeling very well.”

Camille nodded as she laced her finger’s with her girlfriend’s. “We’ll stay out of your hair,” she stated. “C’mon, Babe. Let’s get some ice-cream.”

“Babe?” Jane repeated, a grimace on her face. “That sounds so wrong coming out of her mouth.” She pushed her dark hair back and flopped onto a couch, letting Maura take her cane and stow it beside her.

“I know,” the doctor sighed. “I’m not sure if I’m ready for this.”

“Well at least you don’t have to worry about either of them getting pregnant,” the lieutenant pointed out with a chuckle.

“True,” Maura handed her lover a glass of water and then sat next to her, snuggling close. “Now, tell me more about this pain?”

“It’s where I was shot a few years ago. The surgeon wasn’t able to get all the bullet fragments so every now and again, it presses on a nerve and causes me pain. It’s mostly after I’ve had an especially active day.” Jane closed her eyes and tipped her head back. “It’s something I just live with.”

For a long moment, the doctor was quiet. Then she took a breath. “Jane, do you blame yourself for Frankie’s death?”

The question somewhat blindsided the dark woman and she shook her head. “I… I don’t understand the question. Frankie was murdered. It was out of my control.”

“Yes, it was…” Maura’s green eyes met Jane’s brown. “Think about it again. You’ve lived with this pain for a long time without doing anything about it. You’re still dreaming about it.” Her voice gentled again. “Honey, have you ever considered that you might have PTSD?”

The detective drained her glass and cleared her throat. “Yeah,’ she replied. “I saw a shrink for a while and he thought I had PTSD but I didn’t like him and stopped going.”

Maura laced her fingers with Jane’s and brought their hands to her lips to kiss Jane’s. “I love you and I’d like to help you if you’ll let me. I have a friend who’s very very experienced in treating patients who have suffered trauma. Will you let me call her?”

For a long moment, she thought that Jane would refuse, but finally, the detective nodded. “Ok, Maura. I’ll talk to your friend.”

“Thank you, Jane. I also have a friend who’s a surgeon. I’d like to get a second opinion on that bullet fragment and maybe see if we can fix your hip up a little too. I just really hate the thought of your being in pain.”

“Ok. Thanks, Maura.”

..

I didn’t think it would be… today,” Jane stated as she walked with Maura into her friend’s office.

“Kathryn had an opening so she said she’d be happy to see you.”

Jane paused and looked at her lover. “How good a friend is this woman to you?” she asked quietly.

“We were lovers briefly a long time ago,” Maura answered truthfully. “But don’t worry. Anything you say to her will be in the strictest of confidence. She’s very trustworthy.”

“What if I want to talk about you?” Jane asked nervously.

“She’s also very professional. Besides, we parted on mutually good terms. That won’t be a problem.”

“I don’t know, Maura.”

The doctor stopped and cupped the detective’s cheeks in her hands. “Honey, if you’re not comfortable with this, we can just go back home.”

Jane smiled. “It’s ok, let’s just go in. Can’t hurt to talk to her once, right?”

Maura was surprised but didn’t show it. Jane had changed over the years. The doctor had thought she’d have to talk the lieutenant into this more but she didn’t seem quite as stubborn as she had when she was younger. “Absolutely.”

They took a seat in the waiting room and pressed the call button to let Doctor Wright know that they had arrived. They only waited a few minutes before the therapist appeared, a huge smile on her face when she saw Maura. “Doctor Maura Isles. Well, well, well. It has been way too long!”

The women hugged and the blonde doctor nodded. “It has, Kathryn. It’s good to see you.” Then she held her hand out to Jane, who got up and moved forward. “This is my partner, Jane Rizzoli.”

Kathryn shook Jane’s hand and indicated a nearby door. “Thanks, Maura. We’ll see you in about an hour. Jane, come with me to my office. Want some coffee?”

“Please,” the tall detective replied glancing back and winking at Maura before disappearing behind the door.

..

“Sit wherever you like,” Kathryn offered. Her office was large with plenty of space for a desk, seating group and a single armchair. Jane took the armchair and leaned her cane against the arm as the therapist picked up her notepad and pen. “So firstly, Jane, it’s nice to meet you. I’ve actually heard of you before now.”

“Really?” Jane replied with a hiked eyebrow.

“Yes, I lived in Boston for a while years ago. I saw your name and picture a few times in the paper there.” Kathryn ran a hand through her short dark hair. “You are quite the cop.”

“I was once,” Jane replied softly. “No one sees my name in the papers anymore.” She chuckled. “I guess that’s the hazard of promotion.”

Kathryn smiled and shook her head. “I’ve only just met you but I would venture a guess that having your name in the paper never appealed to you in the first place.”

The lieutenant nodded. “Your guess would be correct.”

The therapist jotted a note on her pad. “Tell me…” She crossed her legs. “Why are you here?”

Jane shifted uncomfortably. “Maura and I have reconnected after a number of years. I love her and I want to make her happy. And I don’t think I can do that.”

“And why do you think that?”

“Because if I’m not happy with myself, I don’t think I can make her happy.”

“And why are you not happy with yourself?”

“Because I…” A single tear rolled down Jane’s face. “I can’t forgive myself for letting my brother die.”

Kathryn nodded and leaned back in her chair, making another note. “How did he die?”

“We were both shot and I lay there and did nothing. All I could do was watching the life bleed out of him. I don’t think I can ever forgive myself for that.”

..


	11. Chapter 11

“You’ve told me the whole story of how you and your brother were shot. Explain to me how you think you could have done anything more than you did?” Kathryn tapped her pen against her pad thoughtfully.

“I… I don’t know! But I should have done something! We’ve been through this a hundred times… at least it feels that way!”

Jane got up and paced in front of the chair, kicking out angrily at her cane and knocking it to the floor. The therapist merely watched, taking in body language and posture and noting the anger in the tall woman’s gait. Her face was flushed and rigidly set. “Jane,” she said gently. “What are you feeling right now?”

“Angry! Angry at myself! Angry at him!” Sucking in a breath, Jane froze. “Angry at him,” she repeated. She sat down heavily in her chair and covered her face with scarred hands. When she looked up again, tears were streaming down her cheeks. “He wasn’t supposed to die before me. I was supposed to take care of him. He was my baby brother.”

“And that was a job you took very seriously,” Kathryn surmised.

“Yeah,” the detective nodded. “Always. He was such a good man; always there for me no matter what. After Maura and I… fell out… he was there. But I wasn’t there for him that day.”

Kathryn shook her head. “You were there for him, Jane. Even when you were both so badly injured you couldn’t move, you were there for him. You looked into his eyes and gave him strength, Jane. Frankie did not die alone.” She paused then and took a different tack. “What do you think he would say about this if he heard you blaming yourself?”

Jane chuckled, her brown eyes far away. “I know exactly what he’d say and do. He’d smack me across the back of the head and tell me to stop being so ridiculous. He used to do that when we were working a case and I’d get so stressed, I could hardly think. It was normally followed by a beer at the Dirty Robber.” She paused as long-buried memories surfaced. “He loved French fries and ketchup, you know. Even when we went to a ball game as kids and everyone else was having hot dogs, Frankie always got French fries and ketchup.”

Kathryn smiled. “It sounds like you two were very close. What about your other brother?” She glanced down at her notes. “Tommy, is it?”

Jane sighed and shook her head. “Tommy and I were ok until he dated Maura. It didn’t last long but… it really pissed me off.”

“Because you loved her?”

“Yeah,” the dark woman nodded as she anxiously rubbed her hands together.

“Did he know how you felt about her?”

Jane shook her head. “I didn’t even really know how I felt about her at the time. I just… I just felt angry and jealous.”

“Is that why you and Maura… fell out… as you called it?” Kathryn asked slowly.

“No…”

Jane related the whole story and when she was done, a small smile appeared on the therapist’s lips. “I’m sorry,” she chuckled. “I’m just thinking back to something Maura told me once. It was something very sweet and genuine and I think she was talking about you. I don’t think she’d mind my saying that.”

A big smile lit the detective’s face. “She’s always been really sweet. I’m just sorry that it took so long for us to get here.”

Kathryn nodded as she glanced at the clock. “Ok, Jane.” She underlined something on her pad and smiled. “I think this is a good stopping point. How do you feel?”

“Tired,” Jane replied with a wince. “But good.”

“Excellent, well if you’d like to continue, give my office number a call and make another appointment with my assistant. Take some time to think about what we talked about, ok?”

“Ok,” the detective got up and collected her cane from the floor. “Thanks, Kathryn.”

The therapist showed Jane to the door and smiled as Maura immediately got up and moved to the detective’s side. “Bye, Jane, Maura. Take care of yourselves.”

“Thank you, Kathryn,” Maura smiled. “I’ll call you soon.”

Arm in arm, the doctor and detective strolled out of the waiting room and out onto the street. “I like her,” Jane commented as they ducked into a diner and took a seat.

“She had your number, didn’t she,” Maura replied. It wasn’t really a question.

“What? No! Maur…” The detective made a face. “Ok, yes, she did.” She ran a hand through her hair and sighed. “How did you know?”

“She had mine too,” the doctor laughed. “I saw her as a patient too at one point.”

“Wait! You slept with your therapist? Isn’t that a… oh I dunno… conflict of interest?” came the indignant and somewhat sarcastic response.

No,” the blond clarified reasonably as she looked over her menu. “I wasn’t her patient at that point.”

The waitress came by and took their drink orders as Jane took a look at her menu too. “Why did you break up?” she finally asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

“At this point,” Maura murmured quietly, “Kathryn would probably say it was because she wasn’t you.”

“Wasn’t… Oh…” The detective nodded. “I would venture a guess a couple of my exes would say the same.”

..

“Brrr…” Maura pulled the soft cotton sheet higher and snuggled closer to her sleeping lover. She’d forgotten that she’d opened the window earlier and now the cool sea breeze was making her feel chilled. Glancing at the clock on the bedside table, she saw that it was almost morning so she firmly closed her eyes and concentrated really hard on going back to sleep.

..

“Jane?” A soft tap on the bedroom door woke the detective from a nice dream about multiple naked Mauras.

“It’s not morning yet. Go away,” she groaned, pulling the sheet over her head.

Cam stuck her head in the door. “Mom called my cell. She said she’s been calling you all morning.”

The dark, disheveled head reappeared. “All morning? What time is it?”

“Almost eleven. Late night, eh?” Cam teased with a sassy grin. Jane loved it.

“Shut up, Kid. I’ll call your Mom back.” Jane sat up, wrapping the sheet around her bare body as she picked her cell up off the floor. She had a vague memory of it bouncing off the table during some particularly energetic bed-sports. She thought that Maura’s foot might have hit it and she grinned and shook herself as a thrill ran through her.

“Morning,” came the gentle voice that Jane knew so well. “Just woke up, huh?”

“Yeah,” the detective replied. “Where are you?”

“At work, remember? I had to go back today.”

Jane nodded and cleared her throat. “Right, sorry. I forgot. So how’s your day going so far?”

“Pretty well actually. I’m working on a really interesting case. Let’s just call it… the case of the missing ear.”

“That’s sounds so boring,” the dark woman teased. “Remember the case we had years ago where a guy riding a bicycle blew up and his arms were still attached to the handle bars? And Frankie thought it was a case of spontaneous human combustion?”

Maura laughed lightly as the memory came back. “I do. Wow, that was a long time ago. But as much as I’d love to reminisce, I actually need to ask a favor of you.”

“Of course, Maura, anything,” Jane answered immediately. “What is it?”

“I’d like you to consult on a case.”

There was silence for a long moment before Jane cleared her throat. “Consult. Um… ok. You’ve cleared it with the commanding officer there?”

“Actually… when she heard you were here, she asked for your input.” Maura paused. “Jane, if you’re not comfortable, I understand.”

“No! No, it’s completely fine. I’d be happy to help. I didn’t bring a suit though.”

“Why don’t you meet me for lunch at one o’clock and we can get you a couple. Cam will drive you.”

“Will I survive?” Jane joked with a chuckle. “Ok, I’ll meet you. Text Cam the place. I’m going to take a shower.”

The doctor lowered her voice. “I wish I was taking a shower with you. I can’t wait to get my hands on that gorgeous, sexy body –“ Jane heard another voice in the background. “Parts that we autopsied yesterday. Yes, I’ll have the results later. See you at one.”

“See you at one. I love you,” the laughing detective replied. She hung up and tossed the phone onto the bed as she made her way to the bathroom.

..

“So, you and Shane,” Jane commented casually as she and Cam drove to the lunch spot Maura had chosen. “You guys serious?”

“It’s… yeah…” Cam replied quietly. “It’s serious.”

The detective nodded. “So what’s wrong then?”

“Nothing. Everything’s fine,” the young blonde replied, flipping her turn signal on and changing lanes to get off the highway.

“That’s not fine face. You… do know that I’m a detective, right?” Jane smiled. “C’mon. You can talk to me.”

“Shane wants to have sex.” Cam swallowed, hoping that her friend wouldn’t be shocked.

“Ahh… I see,” the dark woman replied, not at all shocked. “And you’re not ready for that?”

“Oh, no, I’m so ready,” the young woman replied eagerly. “I’m just not sure if it’s the right time.”

“Howso?” Jane checked her phone as a text from Maura popped up. “How long til we get there?”

“About five minutes. Mom is always early.” Cam turned down a side street and picked a parking spot. “We’ll have to walk from here. Two minutes is all.”

“Cool,” Jane replied, tapping out a message to say as much to Maura. “So you were saying it’s not the right time? You know you can’t get pregnant, right?” She grinned adorably.

Cam rolled her eyes but laughed. “Of course. I don’t know, Jane. I’m just not sure yet.” She put the car in park and turned off the engine. The detective took off her seatbelt but paused to put her hand on the girl’s knee.

“That means you’re not ready,” she said softly. “And there’s nothing wrong with waiting. If Shane loves you, she’ll understand.”

Cam just nodded and slid out of the car.

..


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... this is somewhat of a bridging chapter to the next phase of the story. Enjoy!

  
  


"What about this one?"

Jane chuckled and shook her head. "Cam, Sweetie, I'm just short of six feet tall. Those would come to my knees."

"I'm not sure this is the right store for Jane," Maura added. "We need to try somewhere with a special tall section. Remember how we used to do this twice a year? I'd drag you into the big department stores to get you a new suit. You went through the knees of your pants like crazy."

The detective nodded. "Yes, I remember. You used to threaten bringing my mother if I didn't cooperate." She rolled her eyes. "And I believed you too." Maura smiled that big innocent smile that Jane loved and they laced their fingers together as they left the store and kept strolling. "This is a pretty cool mall actually," Jane added. "Everything you could possibly want under one roof. Oh, by the way, remind me to brush up on California State gun laws. As a police officer I can carry my weapon in any state but I'm still bound by the local laws here too. Just want to make sure everything is in order."

Maura smiled. "You sound like you're actually looking forward to this consulting job." The lieutenant nodded as she wrapped her arm around the doctor's shoulders, kissing her temple.

"I am. I like to feel useful and sitting around at home while you're working is not my idea of making myself useful."

Cam, who was strolling behind them, was lost in thought about what Jane had said earlier. She had thought she was ready for that next step with Shane but after talking with Jane earlier… Jane… she couldn't help but smile. Jane was kind and generous and loving and hot. Wait no. Not hot. Well, maybe a bit hot in a Mom kinda way. She sighed then. No, not hot in a Mom kinda way. Hot in a hot kinda way. She groaned, catching Maura's attention.

"Honey, are you ok?" the doctor asked worriedly. "You're not sick, are you?"

"I just have a headache," Cam replied. "Is it ok if I get a drink and sit down while you guys are shopping?" The young woman needed some distance to think.

"Sure," Maura replied. "Do you have money?"

"Yeah, I'm good thanks. See you guys later." Cam hurried away towards a MacDonald's.

"Did that seem weird to you?" Jane asked.

"A little," Maura replied. "I'll talk to her later. C'mon, let's find you some clothes to wear to work."

..

Sipping on an ice-cold Coke, Cam tried not to think about her feelings. It wasn't working though. She loved Shane. She knew she did… she thought she did. But every time she thought about Jane, her heart would flutter. "Stupid crush," she murmured. She crossed her arms on the table and rested her forehead on them. "This is wrong," she continued to herself. "Mom loves her and has waited for her for years. And Jane has waited for Mom. I can't have these feelings for her."

Just then her phone rang and she pulled it out of her pocket. "Hey Mom."

"Hey, Kiddo. We're all done. Where are you?"

"MacDonald's. My headache is a little better."

"Ok, good. Want to meet us at the carousel and we'll head home? I was thinking some homemade Italian for dinner tonight?"

"Sure, but I'm not all that hungry. I might just go to bed when we get home. Besides, you and Jane deserve some time together without me there."

There was silence for a moment and then Maura spoke again quietly. "Cam, what's wrong? You've been a little withdrawn today. You know you can talk to me, right? You'll always be first to me."

"I know, Mom, but not this time. This is something I have to work out myself, ok? I promise I'll ask if I need help."

"Ok, Honey. See you in a few minutes."

Cam got up and strolled to the meeting point. She made a promise to herself that she would support her Mom and Jane's relationship and she would keep that promise if it was the last thing she did.

..

Wrapping her arms around Maura from behind, Jane nuzzled her hair and spoke softly into her ear. "I know you're worried about Cam. Is there anything I can do to help?"

It was early and the warm California sun painted long trails on the dark wood of the kitchen floor as the women prepared for their first day at the office together. Jane was dressed in her usual suit and V-neck shirt combo and the new outfit sat elegantly on her willowy frame.

"I don't think so," the doctor replied. "She said she'll ask if she needs help and I have to trust her to do that."

"She and I had a little talk yesterday. She's a smart kid, Maura, and she's very responsible. I think she's going to be fine. Just give her some time."

Maura turned in Jane's arms and kissed her. "Ok." She gazed into deep brown orbs. "I love you."

"I love you too," the detective replied. "And I'll love you even more if you have coffee for me?"

The doctor laughed and poured two cups. "Some things never change."

..

"Good morning, Lieutenant." Maura knocked lightly on the frame of the commending officer's open door.

"Doctor Isles, good morning. Come on in."

Jane and Maura stepped through the door but Jane's eyes widened when she realized who was standing behind the desk. "Nina? Oh my God! Nina!"

"Hello, Jane." With a big smile the lieutenant stepped closer and hugged her old friend tightly.

"When did you move out here?" Jane asked, delightedly. "Why didn't I know? Maura!"

The doctor smiled widely. "Nina asked me to keep a secret for her. She wanted to surprise you."

The tall detective laughed. "Well, I'm surprised and thrilled! How are you?"

"I'm doing well. Thanks for agreeing to consult on this case. There's no one else in this world that I'd rather have working on it."

"You're more than welcome," Jane replied warmly. "Oh, I almost forgot." She took off her badge and presented it and her weapon for inspection after carefully ejecting the clip and the single bullet from the chamber. "All my paperwork is in order."

Nina cast her eyes over everything and then waved her hand. "Everything looks good, Lieutenant." She sat down in her chair and invited Jane to take a seat as she retrieved her things.

Maura smiled and chucked a thumb towards the door. "I'd better get to work. See you later."

"Bye, Maura."

When the Chief Medical Examiner had closed the door behind her, Nina smiled. "She's like a different person, Jane. She's happy."

"I am too," Jane replied, tilting her head. "I must have done something right somewhere, huh?"

"Funny you should say that," Nina went on. "It's because of all the things you've done right that you're here. Maura and I talked about this and we have a case that we'd like your input on. BUT, I promised her that I would be honest with you and understand if you said no to working with us."

Jane frowned. "Why would I say no to working on a case?"

Nina sighed and pulled a folder out of her drawer. She opened the cover to the photograph page for the suspect and slid it across the table. Immediately, Lieutenant Rizzoli's eyes widened. She looked back at Nina and shook her head. "This is not possible. He's dead."

"That's exactly what Maura said. We found DNA at a crime scene and her face looked just about like yours when the results came back. Except, it wasn't a one hundred percent match. It was a familial match. Father and son."

Jane's mind flashed back many years. The house. The woman on the mattress. The steep stairs. A blow to her head. And the pain. The pain in her hands when a monster had pinned her to the floor with scalpels.

"You're telling me that Charles Hoyt has a son."

Nina nodded. "And we think he's following in his father's footsteps."

Jane's face was grim as she closed the folder and slid it back across the desk to Nina.

"I'm in."


End file.
